Every week, Paul, Graham, Kathleen and I get together to write ENN. Over the week, each of us actually writes stories separately, then we get together on Fridays to choose what to use, what to revise, etc. Sometimes the stories we throw out aren’t very good; other times, they are too obscure for a wider audience. Even so, sometimes very good stories have to be thrown out because there is just not enough space for them in the episode. Here are several such stories from this week’s episode:

Expressing Amusement

During his talk at GDC, EA’s John Schappert tried to say the Activision/Infinity Ward legal brouhaha was a disappointment to gamers, but couldn’t make it the whole way through the sentence: instead bursting into delighted giggles and doing a version of Snoopy’s happy dance onstage.

Sex Sells

Tecmo has released an ad for its upcoming Dead or Alive Paradise that is simply a video of a man spanking a stuffed monkey, seeming to acknowledge that the game’s only draw is the scantily clad female characters. In other news, the sun is hot, bears are scary, and the moon continues to orbit the earth.

King Kong

Plastic Surgeon Han Chien has been crowned the new world Donkey Kong champion after achieving a high score of 1,061,700. Chien attributed his success to determination, skill, and a fortuitously shaped blemish on the chest of a plastic surgery patient.

Cutaway: a guy’s chest imprinted with a donkey kong level