LolSpam

[YamaroV2]

Not really to target spammers HERE, but just funny shit that's been caught by your spam filter.

I think, hands down, my best one has to be that "My penis would be a faultless weapon against hordes of blonde babes."

Anyone else get this level of hilarity in their spam folder?

[Jillers]

"She was a young nice chalk expert" stick out in my mind, as does the sender, one "Dusty Wang"

[empath]

From: dana
Subj: Best manure for pork stalk
You have been granted a perfect source of better intimate living...

But seriously; didn't we do this already in a thread Cake started a month or so ago?

[Cake]

I thought I saved everyone from AIDS about a month ago.

[King Kool]

Checking the spam folder...

"Your manhood won't be soft"
"Did you take viagra? create a love triangle"
"How many orgasm can man do?"
"You can cry because of your weak and limp rod, or you can purchas"
"Conquer your heart with your upsized manhood."
"Postpone your love bomb's explode hayseed hustings"
"Ignoring this is dangerous"

Pretty typical.

[Master Gunner]

I have no spam in my spambox right now

[empath]

Checking the spam folder...

"Your manhood won't be soft"
"Did you take viagra? create a love triangle"
"How many orgasm can man do?"
"You can cry because of your weak and limp rod, or you can purchas"
"Conquer your heart with your upsized manhood."
^^^
"Postpone your love bomb's explode hayseed hustings"
"Ignoring this is dangerous"

Pretty typical.

Hey, I got that one about up-sizing; it said "her" heart tho...

I wonder if LRR is how we both got that spam or if we have something else in common?



Interestingly, I have a surprising proportion of messages in my spam folder coming from "me".

Guard: Who goes there?
Person: Me.
Guard: ... um, that's not helping.

[King Kool]

So, Yamaro, what's up with that avatar? You don't like Xbox, or do you just not want the Xbox to know where you are?

[YamaroV2]

Actually, it's the "you turn 360 degrees and walk away" meme.

[Vaughn]

I get alot of "CONFIRM YOUR EBAY ORDER!" stuff.

If only i had ever gone to EBay, ever.

[Cureless_Poison]

Aside from the occasional "Collage Invitation" I don't get spam, I just have a bunch of newsletters I don't read that pile up because I don't set them to non-junk.

[Zombaholic]

"Sexy Cougars want you!"

But I don't want to be mauled

[Dave-O_Boy]

I recently got one that says "grow patches here."

[Space Jump]

This reminds me of Spamusement, which stopped updating about two or three years ago, but is still worth a laugh if you haven't seen it before.

[Zivlok]

"I am Suong Lim, Attorney at law. A deceased client of mine, that shares
the same last name as yours, who died as the result of a heart-related
condition in March 12th 2005. His heart condition was due to the death
of all the members of his family in the tsunami disaster on the 26th
December 2004 in Sumatra Indonesia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_India ... earthquake
I have contacted you to assist in distributing the money left behind by..." BLAH BLAH BLAH the rest we've all seen before. I just really like this, one, because of the sentence fragment at the beginning, and two, because they felt the need to link to a Wikipedia page about the tsunami, to prove that it actually happened.

[DvelopmentalInsanity]

I get this sort fairly regularly:

Dear Webmail User,

The Helpdesk Program that periodically checks the size of your e-mail space is sending you this information. The program runs weekly to ensure your inbox does not grow too large, thus preventing you from receiving or sending new e-mail. As this message is being sent, you have 18 megabytes (MB) or more stored in your inbox.

It then goes on the try to get my username and password from me. It's particularly amusing that it's complaining about a supposed 18MB, when, scrolling down further shows:

You are currently using 2093 MB (28%) of your 7351 MB

[Kara]

Checking the spam folder...

"You can cry because of your weak and limp rod, or you can purchas"


Pretty typical.

lololololololololololololol
win

[Master Gunner]

Here's a few subject lines for you:
"I was attacked by dogs"
"Screw her in every hole"
"limitlessly"
"Obama caught hot"
"but ran home"
"Give your grill some balls"
"Good paying freelancers go here"
"Women never leave men who can make them come five times a night."

I'm sure one could concoct an interesting story using those phrases, along with other ones in this thread.

[empath]

Here's a few subject lines for you:
"I was attacked by dogs"
"Screw her in every hole"
"limitlessly"
"Obama caught hot"
"but ran home"
"Give your grill some balls"
"Good paying freelancers go here"
"Women never leave men who can make them come five times a night."

I'm sure one could concoct an interesting story using those phrases, along with other ones in this thread.

Heh, and I've got a day off, tomorrow...


It has been a few years since I did anything more than whip out (heh) an idea for a vignette or a scene, but...
*cracks knuckles*

[AlexanderDitto]

Best spam subject line I've ever gotten, without a doubt:

You have to see this butt.

[empath]

Okay...yeah; got sucked into some online MW4 with my old buds; and now getting ready for work day 4/8....sigh


But on the upside:

FROM: me
SUBJ: Why weren't you with us?

reminds me of:

[empath]

DOUBLE-POST ALERT!!!


From: hannevraah
Re: Natural large hose maker - Your banging will go failure-free

[Fuzzyfreaker]

While this may not be e-mail spam, I did receive a rather interesting twitter spambot recently that was advertising the ability to see Adam West naked if I clicked their link.

[Master Gunner]

A few more from the 37 spam messages I have right now:
GPS from the Gods
0% Night Failure Risk
Help me collect jokes!
Zero nicotine give you a powerful helping hand.
Do you want to forget about ed?

[Unclever title]

Found it interesting that Gmail decided that one of my email addresses was spam, that explains why some of my self memos were missing...

But that's fixed for now.

Anyway this is the only one from my Gmail:(Abbreviated and added bold face highlights)

FROM THE INTERNATIONAL PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT
Category A Prize Winner
CONGRATULATIONS

I like reading "Category A Prize Winner" as a complete sentence.

Sir/Madam,
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the NLF ONLINE
International Lottery programs that entered your email addresses
amongst other addresses for the international lottery programs
conducted by NLF ONLINE.

Your pretty standard Spam Con

therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$ 800,000.00
(Eight hundred thousand United States Dollars)

Just in case you can't read numbers, we've spelled them out for you!

This lottery was promoted by some software
corporation to compensate some few individuals with website and email
addresses. After the Microsoft anti-various incident on August 2003.
However, you have automatically qualified to take part in our next
year USD5 million international lottery programs.

Bold Face for Highlighting. This seems to me the weakest explanation for a lottery I've ever heard of. Not only is there no mention of what software company it is (Apparently it's not Microsoft of course not, that might potentially maybe possibly sort of make sense! ) but also the obvious misspelling.

Unless Microsoft has some new goal towards homogeny...


This appeared below the email: Invite [email protected] to chat
As opposed to the email this almost sounded like an interesting proposition... Though it probably wouldn't actually work.

I found that pretty hilarious.