Happy Monday everyone! Today’s video takes us back to the old days. The old days of school bullies and math problems in 1980s movies. When nerds were nerds and jocks were… also nerds? I may need to work on this metaphor a bit. Anyhow, Math of the Montage finally proves* that if you want to do something right, you better be prepared to montage!**

Speaking of hard work, this week on Unskippable, Graham and Paul are taking on the ever upbeat Lightning in Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII. Like all good Final Fantasy games, it’s the end of the world. Wouldn’t you know it, Lightning feels fine. You just can’t tell from her tone of voice. Not much for emoting that girl. She’s Stoic. Unknowable. Wooden. That last one isn’t so good really, but there you have it.

Speaking of video games, don’t forget to watch CheckPoint+ Live on our Twitch channel today! The show starts at 2 pm Pacific/5 pm Eastern/10 pm UK and 9 am AEST! And remember, if you can’t watch us do the episode live, there are full replays on Twitch and our YouTube channel as well! Check out last week’s episode, PokemonSpamsTwitch.

*Ha! Math! Proves! Get it? It’s clear that I’m a professional.

** You should also be prepared to work hard and all that other junk, because montages are really time consuming to film.

Happy Monday all!

This week’s LRR videos have a theme running through them. Cold!

See, it’s both seasonally appropriate (since it’s winter) and sympathetic to everyone stuck on the East coast, which is still a “winter wonderland.” I put that phrase in quotation marks because in my experience the only people who like months of unending snow, ice and cold are jerks/sociopaths/snow shovel enthusiasts. And whatever they are, they’re not to be trusted. Their unnatural love of snow means they are extremely likely to pelt you in the head with a snowball. Which they will do at both high speed and frequency in the name of “enjoying this glorious weather.” Like I said, jerks.

Anyhow, this week on Unskippable, Graham and Paul take us all the way back to the PS2 era with Cold Fear! When a whole team of highly trained tactical commandos is taken out by boat zombies, it’s time to deploy the greatest weapon known to mankind. A man in a vest!

Wait… it’s nukes?

OH! We were supposed to use nukes?

Crap, that dude in a vest is probably screwed.

This week’s LRR video also deals with a chilly subject – the Winter Olympics! Are you enjoying cheering for your country as its finest athletes hurl themselves down mountains in a contest to see who can injure themselves the worst? Ever wonder why the Winter Olympics are a fun contest of sport and not some sort of terrible prison penance reserved for humanity’s greatest monsters? Nigel Fitzgerald Brouwer is here to give you… The Whole Story.

And finally yesterday was our first “group stream” on LoadingReadyLive. We all played Minecraft and were vexed by chickens.  If you missed it, you can watch the whole replay on the LRL YouTube Channel. As a reminder, you can find all sorts of replays and other goodies on the LRL channel, so if you don’t want to watch our streaming sessions via Twitch, be sure to head on over there and subscribe.

It’s Monday, and that means a whole new crop of internet videos directly mined from our deep vein of hilarity. Eventually someone’s going to get “comedian’s lung” from working in the joke mines, but that’s just ONE of the hazards we here at LoadingReadyRun are prepared to endure in our quest to bring you the freshest sketches every week.

This week, we hit a political note with the Kathleen-written sketch Flat Out. What do you do when you’re a fringe political party and you’re looking to improve your electoral chances? The Flat Earth party has hired a fancy consultant… but even the fanciest consultant can’t make the impossible happen.

This week on Unskippable, Graham and Paul riff the second half of The Guided Fate Paradox. What do you do if you become God? Well, according to this game, NOTHING INTERESTING. Luckily, Graham and Paul make up for the lack of action with plenty of jokes.

Before I go, a couple of streaming reminders! If you’re interested in just what is going to happen in Final Fantasy XIII: Lightning Returns, you’re in luck! Kathleen will be streaming it all day tomorrow in celebration of it’s launch. She’ll be firing up Twitch as soon as she can get to the moonbase after buying her copy of the game.

Lighting Returns!
Tuesday, Feb. 11 2014
10:30 am Pacific/1:30 pm Eastern/6:30 pm UK
twitch.tv/loadingreadyrun

And if you like things that are spoopy/spooky/scary/dumb? Well, you’re in luck if you like those things, because Alex and Kathleen are going go be really scared playing a scary video game! That’s right! It’s time for the Kickstarter Let’s Nope!

To recap, one of our Kickstarter reward tiers was basically “Alex and Kathleen freak out playing a scary game.” So why are we calling this broadcast a ‘Let’s Nope’? Well Alex and Kathleen are the two jumpiest, most easily scared crew members. They are not super excited about this. We are therefore, broadcasting this playthrough live on Twitch for your amusement.

So when is the Let’s Nope, and how can you watch? Just go to our Twitch channel on:

Who likes to be scared? Who likes to watch other people get scared? Well, you’re in luck if you like those things, because Alex and Kathleen are going go be really scared playing a scary video game! That’s right! It’s time for the Kickstarter Let’s Nope!

To recap, one of our Kickstarter reward tiers was basically “Alex and Kathleen freak out playing a scary game.” So why are we calling this broadcast a ‘Let’s Nope’? Well Alex and Kathleen are the two jumpiest, most easily scared crew members. They are not super excited about this. We are therefore, broadcasting this playthrough live on Twitch for your amusement.

So when is the Let’s Nope, and how can you watch? Just go to our Twitch channel on:

A long time ago, the Earth was different. Strange beasts roamed a place that existed without boundaries or borders. If you or I had been there to see them the beasts would have seemed like gods, or maybe monsters. The beasts did not think of themselves as anything other than what they were. Their names were Ta’xet and Tia. Dzalarhons and Kaiti. They governed life and death, the volcanoes, the sea, and when new episodes of Commodore Hustle would be released.

OK, maybe not, but it has been quite a while since we released a full, non-Beej related episode of Commodore Hustle. In this episode, exciting and dangerous things happen, AND a convertible is driven. It’s basically the coolest thing we’ve ever shot, so go watch it!

This week is also exciting because Unskippable is back to JRPGs! Graham and Paul are riffing The Guided Fate Paradox. And a good thing too, otherwise the opening cutscene might be so boring its fatal. Tune in for part 2 next week!

And finally, this week’s episode of CheckPoint+ is Kickstopper. I’m back and we discuss things like Kickstarter completion rates, Need For Speed and joy of joys, we have more news about Final Fantasy XIII-3! Really, it’s the sequel that keeps on giving.