Back in 2003, I met a young man at a journalism conference. He said he was starting to make videos to put on the internet, a concept that was alien to me at the time, since YouTube hadn’t been invented. I asked to see one. He showed me, on a laptop in a hotel room, a grainy, black and white video of him and his friends walking down the street with Pumpkins on their heads. I was transfixed.
Well, whoops, this is another late blog update from me! But fear not, dear LRR blog readers, this time instead of being lazy, I was just sick, which while different, is still an excuse. So there’s that. But there’s also… VIDEOS! So many of them. Long ones, short ones. Ones with shorts in them. Ones without shorts. A whole… variety of pant length options to choose from in this week’s assortment of videos.
First of all, let’s talk about the latest LoadingReadyRun video, SPRING!
Have you ever wanted to focus the horrific bro-energy of your local frat into a force for good? No?
Well have you thought about what it would be like? No?
Is it really just me then? Imagining an army of bros, all popped collars and salmon shorts, high-fiving and fist pumping as they walk old ladies across the street and help out with municipal improvement projects? OK, even if it is just me, you must admit this video has also given us this gif, which is basically the pinnacle of human gif-making achievement.
Anyhow… Moving onto this week’s Unskippable, Graham and Paul take on Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartel, AKA, Army of TIIIIIIIOOOOO.
This video raises many questions. Why did EA make a third Army of Two game? Why wasn’t the first game just Army of 2: 2? There are so many sequels I’m sure they could have slipped that one by us. Why would they think spelling it as “TIIIO” in the game would make any sense? Were they actually just going for a very subtle Bill Cosby joke? Science may never know the answers to these questions. Because they are stupid.
This week’s CheckPoint also focuses on something stupid, in that it focuses on the business dealings of one E.A. Inc. Ha! See what I did there? I am a genius. EA is going to be doing all the Star Wars games. That is horrible. Except that means people like Bioware are going to be doing them. That’s actually probably just fine.
This was also the 100th episode of CheckPoint! Hooray! We didn’t do anything spectacular for it, but there is a neat graphic at the end.
Speaking of 100 episodes, we also put up the 100th episode of Feed Dump last week! Featuring basically every Feed Dump host we could put together, Feed Dump 100 is basically Feed Dump All-Stars.
This week’s Feed Dump is Insects for Dinner, in which Graham, Paul and Alex discuss the merits of feeding on insects. The UN thinks you should do it. An honestly, if those insects were ground up into hamburger patties we really wouldn’t be able to tell. I ate a McDonald’s cheeseburger last month and it barely tasted like beef.
I think the UN is just trying to gear us up for the inevitable future where long, hot showers are a luxury of the rich and children don’t like the taste of beef because it’s weird and not what they’re used to eating. DayQuil is in short supply in this future too, just to make things even more miserable. The horrible, Mad Max future is coming. That’s what the UN is trying to tell us. Get your taste for bugs ready now. It’ll make stuff way easier down the line. The only solace I can take in this future is celebrity gossip probably won’t matter because Kim Kardashian will be our new Queen. She will rule from a throne made of insect carapaces and the remains of Kanye West, whom she devoured, spider-like after she finally bore his blessed, fashionable centipede spawn.
“Kathleen,” she will whisper, the words becoming clipped as they leave her thorax. “There is no law now. There is no hope. There is only Kardashian.” Then she will reach out with a hybrid arm/mandible/spider leg thingy and touch my face. It will be black, firm and glossy.The tip will be expertly manicured.
“Does this floral print make my butt look big?” she will hiss. There are no right answers to give to the Kardashian Brood-Queen. That is how I will die.
Huh. Maybe I shouldn’t take DayQuil before I write these posts.
So… moving on.
If you’ve watched all those, why not watch this week’s Loading Time? Shot by our friend Dammit Liz, it’s all about Paul, Matt and James’ trip to the Calgary Comic Expo!
I’ve been a little busy these past weeks and updating the LRR blog completely slipped my mind. Whoops! But I’m back. And therefore the blog is back.
First up is a video I wrote! It’s called The Travel Bug.
I wanted to write something that was:
1. Not crime themed
2. Relied on quick, back and forth dialogue (we haven’t done one of those in a while)
3. Capable of offending millions of people*
Of course, this video also has Andy in it, so I’m sure it will be beloved by all.
Next up is this week’s Unskippable, which is particularly funny, largely because it includes a Look Around You reference and covers an incredibly awful cutscene from Resident Evil 6.
CheckPoint this week is all about piracy. Turns out video game piracy means developers have a hard time making money, and one developer had thought of an insidious way to teach pirates what their actions can do.
Last week’s Feed Dump also brought us the all-new Cray Scale (TM). Get yours today.
We ALSO have a new episode of Friday Nights called Guild Fight. No spoilers, but remember, there is never such thing as too much Dimir.
*Seriously. I didn’t include certain countries in this video simply because I couldn’t think of anything rude to say about them.
Also, I totally forgot to update last week as well. Check out our Videos page for any other stuff you might have missed!
This week we bring you three delicious, fresh videos! First up is Beej’s first foray into LRR writing, The Stuck Up. What happens when the worst people in the world get mugged? This! Note that for people who complain a lot about “freshness” they’re probably the worst stereotypes ever. A clever, multilayered script!
While we’re giving you tips, I’m not sure that coat works with your balaclava.
That covers crime, onto punishment. This week’s Unskippable is the Devil May Cry reboot, which I have to admit, I loved. I love those ridiculous bad-boy characters and their impish charm. Like seriously. Everyone has their guilty pleasure, and this archetype is mine. Fastest way to make me like a character, make him one of these. In the actual game there’s an army of demons out to get the younger, edgier Dante, and he’s not going to be caught with his pants down… More than once at least.
Always more shirtless bad boy video game dudes. Thank you.
Finally we move onto questionable product strategies with this week’s CheckPoint, Oh Yeah, Ouya. Look, I wish these people luck, but I don’t know why I want to buy an Ouya outside of using it to run XBMC, which isn’t going to keep the company afloat. They’re banking on selling apps and taking a cut (just like Apple and Google), but when your device isn’t that great and plays scaled up Android games… I’m not sure why you’d bother.
I doubt the how “wonderful” this supposed Wonderbook is.
Attention Calgarians, Albertans and general Prairie-Dwellers!
The LRR crew, represented by Paul, James, and Matt, will be attending the Calgary Comic Expo! (Owing to unavoidable work concerns, Kathleen and Graham are no longer able to attend, and they send their deepest apologies).
The crew will be there all three days, in residence at the LRR booth, and at the LRR panel on Sunday morning at 11 am. Also joining us are our friends “Dammit” Liz Smith (Desert Bus organizer, Damnit Liz Productions) and Leelee Scaldaferri (Name Game, Extra Credits)!
We will have a selection of merchandise including all our DVDs and all our shirts! (Except Wizard Chat. Sorry about that, they’re really popular and we’ll be getting more printed!)
So where can you find us?
Panel: Sunday, April 28 at 11:00 am Room: Palomino H
Start: 11:00AM
End: 11:45AM
