Granted! Pandas now rule the Earth, until the Aliens invade. Now THEY rule the Earth.

I wish Pandas weren't nearly extinct.

Granted. It's so good in fact, that every man woman and child on the face of the planet now owns a copy... Except you. Your friends won't even let you over to watch them play it nor can you access any videos online to watch people play it because it so good. Humanity then crumbles because no one is ...

Granted but you must decode Pi to get the wish. It's in there somewhere. If you see my keys in there lemme know.

I wish I could decode Pi.

Granted but due to crappy manufacturing, it melts down countless PC's, and starts thousands of house fires, killing many.

I wish for supreme cosmic power that didn't require an itty bitty living space.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre is based on the real life events of ElFuzzy.

Granted. But since coffee pretty much tastes the same, companies go out of business and millions of people lose jobs. But at least the coffee is delicious right? Well it is until you drink your first cup and burn the tastebuds off, not being able to ever taste the deliciousness again. (double whammy...

Granted! The internet is ablaze with a pic of you and the Prime Minister of England, signifying to everyone who plays "The Game" that you indeed have won the game. However, because the game wasn't meant to be won by anyone, the universe objects and rips itself apart destroying all of crea-...

Granted. They appear as real books over your head killing you as gravity takes hold.

I wish I was a Kaiju Monster.

And that makes your father a prick. Unless you punched him in the face it's his fault, not yours. So stop blaming yourself! The sad part is only my mother and my father know just the right things to make me feel like shit, even though I have done nothing wrong. As it is, I am going to stop working ...

We don't take too kindly to folks who take too kindly to folks. :D Thanks all of you for your support. I need it now more than ever due to the fact that my father will no longer talk to me now that I revealed I was Bi. I guess to some people that this means I am going to cheat on my wife or somethin...

Granted you get a toy lightsaber. But when you go out thinking its a real one, you get stabbed by a mugger who proceeds to laugh at you, then a homeless passerby pees on you.

I wish I could play the bass better than Flea from Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

SO i finally told EVERYONE (on facebook) that I was Bi, keep in mind those that were paying attention, yes, I am in a heterosexual relationship. That's why its called Bi. ;) On a sadder note, my father no longer wishes to have anything further to do with me. Cutting off the last part of my biologica...

Granted, but I misunderstood your wish and I blew up the world instead. Sorry.

I wish for a can of soup.

Keab42 is my evil clone.

The name of my Metallica cover band.

Does anyone know where the hell I've been?

Thank shit, got worried after you disappeared for a few weeks. How's your situation looking man? My situation has not improved. My wife is still having seizures, however I am getting more traction with her neurologist, so that may help her Social Security case. But I am still standing at the bottom...

I am still here.

The Black Knight!

Granted. Well sort of. It was finally proven he was murdered by his wife... So there's that, at least.

I wish I won the lotto.

To those that are not aware, my wife is in the hospital. She had a really nasty seizure and it affected her breathing considerably. She was hooked up to a B-Pap machine until today. Now she just has oxygen in her nose. To make matters worse, DHS (Department of Human Services) will not help me out wi...

Alex Trebeck
What is a meme?

I'd buy a lot of blow. <_<; Not that I have ever had it or even know what Blow is other than some movie.

It's got to have a doggie door that he uses as his totally unnecessary and high concept ejection seat. Oh and that he would totally get stuck in if he tried to slip through.

Waffles. Yes. Waffles.
Explain the theory of relativity in ten words or less.