YOU ARE TROUBLESHOOTERS; PERSONS EMPLOYED BY THE COMPUTER IN ITS NEVER ENDING MISSION TO PROTECT AND KEEP SAFE THE PERSONS EMPLOYED BY THE COMPUTER IN ITS NEVER ENDING MISSION TO PROTECT AND KEEP SAFE THE AFOREMENTIONED EMPLOYEES. YOU EACH ARE GIVEN AUTHORIZATION FOR SIX CLONINGS; IN THE EVENT OF YOUR DEATH YOU WILL USE UP ONE CLONE.
THE COMPUTER IS VERY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE FOLLOWING TROUBLESHOOTERS:
1 Utilitarian - Terminated thrice, 3 clones remain.
2 Duckay - Terminated thrice, 3 clones remain.
3 Trymantha - Terminated fourice, 2 clones remain.
4 Jamfalcon - Terminated
5 Master Gunner - Terminated thrice, 3 clones remain.
6 Preacher - Terminated thrice, 3 clones remain.
7 Smeghead - Terminated fourice, 2 clones remain.
8 Dutch Guy - Terminated fourice, 2 clones remain.
9 EikoandMog - Terminated twice, 4 clones remain.
10 Ptangmatik - Terminated.
11 Elvor - Terminated a whole bunch of times, no clones remain.
12 aeric90 - Terminated fivice, 1 clone remains.
13 dsmaster21 - Terminated a whole bunch of times, no clones remain.
14 iamafish - Terminated twice, 4 clones remain.
15 My psuedonym is ix - Terminated a whole bunch of times, no clones remain.
16 empath - Terminated.
17 Lsyander - Terminated fourice, 2 clones remain.
THE TROUBLESHOOTING UNIT COMPRISING THESE MEMBERS HAS BEEN INFILTRATED BY ONE OR MORE COMMIE MUTANT TRAITORS. COMMIE MUTANT TRAITORS DISRUPT OUR SYSTEMS AND MUST BE DESTROYED. FIND THE COMMIE MUTANT TRAITORS. ONCE ONE IS FOUND (RELYING ON “WISDOM OF THE CROWD OF TROUBLESHOOTERS”), TARGET THE COMMIE MUTANT TRAITOR FOR DESTRUCTION BY THE COMPUTER. PLEASE CARRY OUT THESE ORDERS.
ALSO CARRY OUT THE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS. FAILURE TO DO SO WILL INCUR PENALTIES OF VARYING SEVERITY.
- ANYONE USING THE WORD "VOTE" WILL BE PUNISHED WITH DEATH; VOTING IS THE SACRED TRADITION THAT DEFINES OUR GLORIOUS SOCIETY FOR THOSE ELIGIBLE TO VOTE. AS YOU ARE NOT THE COMPUTER, YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE TO VOTE. STATE "TARGET: <TARGET>" IF YOU WISH TO TARGET A TROUBLESHOOTER FOR ELIMINATION.
- ANYONE USING THE WORD "LYNCH" WILL BE PUNISHED WITH DEATH; LYNCHING IS OFFENSIVE WRONGTALK OF A MORE PRIMITIVE AND VIOLENT TIME.
- ANYONE USING THE WORDS "DAY" OR "NIGHT" WITHOUT APPENDING THE WORD “CYCLE” WILL BE PUNISHED WITH DEATH. DAY IS AN AMBIGUOUS TERM DUE TO ABUSE BY POETS.
- ANYONE USING THE WORD "TOWN", "VILLAGE" OR "FOLK" WILL BE PUNISHED WITH DEATH; THESE WORDS ARE FORBIDDEN DUE TO [REASONS CLASSIFIED; REQUIRE CLEARANCE ULTRAVIOLET.] WE LIVE IN “THE COMPLEX”, AND YOU ARE ALL “TROUBLESHOOTERS”. AS A CLARIFICATION OF THE ABOVE, THE CLONE OF A PERSON WHO USES MORE THAN ONE OF THESE WORDS IN A SINGLE POST, FOR EXAMPLE TO SAY "TOWNSFOLK", WILL NOT BE PUNISHED WITH DEATH FOR THIS INFRACTION AS S/HE IS A DIFFERENT PERSON AND THIS WOULD BE UNJUST.
- THE CLONE OF A PERSON WHO USES MORE THAN ONE OF THESE WORDS IN A SINGLE POST, FOR EXAMPLE TO SAY "TOWNSFOLK", WILL BE PUNISHED WITH DEATH FOR INFRACTIONS RELATING TO [REASONS CLASSIFIED; REQUIRE CLEARANCE ULTRAVIOLET.]
- WHILE THE COMPUTER HAS AN EXTENSIVE MESSAGING SYSTEM FOR TROUBLESHOOTERS, YOU ARE REQUESTED (ORDERED) TO NOT USE IT DURING DAY-CYCLE AS THIS IS CONSIDERED ANTISOCIAL.
- DURING NIGHT-CYCLE, YOU ARE ALL PERMITTED TO MESSAGE EACH OTHER, AS THE COMPUTER ACKNOWLEDGES THE NEED FOR SOCIAL INTERACTION EVEN DURING DOWNTIME. BE GRATEFUL, AND PRESERVE BANDWIDTH BY MESSAGING ONLY ONE PERSON AT A TIME. NO MASS SENDING.
- TYPING IN ALL CAPS IT STRICTLY FORBIDDEN (IT IS CONSIDERED RUDE) AND PUNISHABLE BY DEATH.
THESE INSTRUCTIONS ARE NOW GIVEN. PLEASE EXECUTE ORDERS AND COMMIE MUTANT TRAITORS.
(Plainspeak version: As with most mafia games, a person will be killed each day based on majority vote. However, unlike in most mafia games, every player now has 7 ‘lives’ and is only eliminated once all 7 lives are used up. You will lose one life every time you use any of the following words: Vote, Lynch, Day instead of Day-Cycle, Night instead of Night-cycle, Town, Village, Folk. No private messages during day-cycle. Only the computer may type in all caps.)
HAVE A PLEASANT DAY-CYCLE.
