Design a Card

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JackSlack
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Design a Card

Postby JackSlack » 18 Mar 2013, 17:43

Simple thread. Come up with a card. Write it up like so. Comment on the cards others make. If you feel moved, use templates to graphically design the card.

Name of the Damn Thing. (Mana Cost)
Type - Subtype
Rules text.
Flavor text.

Think of it as YMtC for ourselves.

Here, I'll kick us off.

Wandering Void (B)
Enchantment
(1) → Sacrifice target creature.
You know what's worse than a demon-worshiping blasphemous necromancer? An easily distractable one. -- Thalia.

I think this may be a touch undercosted for its ability, but the tapping means it shouldn't be horrifying when paired with Blood Artist, for example.
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Volafortis
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Volafortis » 18 Mar 2013, 18:15

Outside of Time Spiral block shenanigans, they don't make Enchantments that tap. It's one of the main things that keeps enchantments mechanically separate from artifacts.

That said, I'd like something like this:

Stalker of the Shadows - (2UB)
Creature - Horror

Flying, haste

If Stalker of the Shadows would be put into the graveyard from anywhere, put it onto the battlefield instead. When Stalker of the Shadows leaves the battlefield, exile it.

3/2
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JackSlack
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Re: Design a Card

Postby JackSlack » 18 Mar 2013, 18:22

Noted. Hold on, new version.

Dagger of the Unholy (3)
Artifact
(2) → Sacrifice target creature.
It's actually just a dagger, but you can't sell 'just a dagger' for this much.

How's that? Costs raised a bit since as an artifact it gains applicability.

Edit: Also, I dig the one you've posted. Nice.
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Utilitarian
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Utilitarian » 18 Mar 2013, 18:31

Garruk's Retort. (GG)
Instant
If a spell or ability an opponent controls would cause you to return target creature to your hand or place it on top of your deck, counter that spell and Garruk's Retort deals damage equal to that creature's power to that opponent.
"Choke on your cleverness and die" -Garruk, to Jace

Have I mentioned that I hate Azorius Charm?
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JackSlack
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Re: Design a Card

Postby JackSlack » 18 Mar 2013, 18:36

Eh, I'm still unhappy with mine. As an artifact, it's simply underpowered compared to other existing cards. Hmm.

OK, I have a new one.

Booby Trapped Dagger (3)
Artifact
Sacrifice a creature: Sacrifice target creature.
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JackSlack
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Re: Design a Card

Postby JackSlack » 18 Mar 2013, 18:39

Utilitarian wrote:Garruk's Retort. (GG)
Instant
If a spell or ability an opponent controls would cause you to return target creature to your hand or place it on top of your deck, counter that spell and Garruk's Retort deals damage equal to that creature's power to that opponent.
"Choke on your cleverness and die" -Garruk, to Jace

Have I mentioned that I hate Azorius Charm?


I do too.

I nearly asked how it would interact with Terminus, but your wording clearly avoids that trap.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Duckay » 18 Mar 2013, 18:41

I have informed a certain friend of mine several times that he's simply not allowed to play Azorius Charm or Terminus against me. Hasn't stopped him, but it makes me feel better.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Utilitarian » 18 Mar 2013, 18:42

Creatures on the bottom of the deck is close enough to genuine removal that I felt it was out of place for this card.

Also I wonder if anyone will get the reference in there -_^
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Duckay » 18 Mar 2013, 18:45

Stranglehold. Am I wrong?
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Utilitarian » 18 Mar 2013, 18:50

Yep.

^_^ One of my favorite flavor texts. Also I like that that phrase inadvertently references Choke, another fantastic "no screw YOU blue control!" card
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Re: Design a Card

Postby JackSlack » 18 Mar 2013, 18:50

I'm unsure how I feel about straight green having a counterspell, I admit, even one as limited as that. It feels off theme.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Kapol » 18 Mar 2013, 18:51

Jack, one of the major problems with your card right now is the wording. It should say "Sacrifice a creature you control." Sacrifice target creature implies it can be any creature on the battlefield. It also, if I'm not mistake, isn't supposed to target. It's up to the affected play to choose. Hence why it's different than simply destroying them.

I'd say the best way to do it would be a one-mana drop, and two mana cost without tapping. Likely an enchantment as originally intended instead of an artifact. Sacrifice to Sacrifice makes the cost a benefit more than a cost most of the time (assuming you have two creatures, or 1 undying you're fine with sacing twice). That's my opinion at least.

Utilitarian, that seems pretty OP, especially since the deck that plays it also likely plays big creatures, meaning it becomes a 2 mana straight counter (which seems very off-green by itself) as well as a 4+ burn spell for 2. Still, considering I played a bounce deck last week, I can't say I blame you. :P

For my own:

Fblthp's Relief - 1W
Instant
Return target creature you control to it's owner's hand. You gain life equal to it's toughness.
Fblthp was relieved when he arrived back to the secluded security of his home.
Last edited by Kapol on 18 Mar 2013, 18:53, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Utilitarian » 18 Mar 2013, 18:53

JackSlack wrote:I'm unsure how I feel about straight green having a counterspell, I admit, even one as limited as that. It feels off theme.

Thanks to Avoid Fate it's not completely unprecedented. I was trying to work the wording out to involve giving the creature Hexproof instead but then it wouldn't get around mass bounce.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Utilitarian » 18 Mar 2013, 18:55

It's a powerful effect but I felt like the situation it deals with is specific enough to make it worth it. Prolly does need a higher CMC though at the very least. The lesson here is not to design cards while you're trying to deckbuild around a popular mechanic.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Kapol » 18 Mar 2013, 18:59

Utilitarian wrote:It's a powerful effect but I felt like the situation it deals with is specific enough to make it worth it. Prolly does need a higher CMC though at the very least. The lesson here is not to design cards while you're trying to deckbuild around a popular mechanic.


The problem is that, no matter the CMC, it'll still feel really weird green card. That's one of the most important parts. It feels like it's desperate to be blue due to being a counter, but also trying to be Fling as well, except it lets your creature survive. It also feels like you're pushing to specifically stop bounce AND Azorius charm, which makes it feel even more awkward, especially when you just randomly throw in the damage.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby ZePancakes » 18 Mar 2013, 19:03

Unholy Crusade (2B)
Enchantment

Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to an opponent, put a quest counter on Unholy Crusade.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if Unholy Crusade has 4 or more quest counters, sacrifice Unholy Crusade and put target creature from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. Targeted creature is black and a zombie in addition to its types.

"What do these abominations fight for?"
"The bones beneath your feet."
-------------------------------------------
I realise that there is too much text in the card itself to include some flavour text but I am putting it in anyway! :D
Last edited by ZePancakes on 18 Mar 2013, 22:07, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby JackSlack » 18 Mar 2013, 19:12

Utilitarian, what if you just got rid of the counter? That makes it far less powerful, justifies the lower cost, and basically makes it a very situational fling, with the added bonus that you still get to keep the card in your hand or on the top of your deck.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Utilitarian » 18 Mar 2013, 19:13

Kapol wrote:
Utilitarian wrote:It's a powerful effect but I felt like the situation it deals with is specific enough to make it worth it. Prolly does need a higher CMC though at the very least. The lesson here is not to design cards while you're trying to deckbuild around a popular mechanic.


The problem is that, no matter the CMC, it'll still feel really weird green card. That's one of the most important parts. It feels like it's desperate to be blue due to being a counter, but also trying to be Fling as well, except it lets your creature survive. It also feels like you're pushing to specifically stop bounce AND Azorius charm, which makes it feel even more awkward, especially when you just randomly throw in the damage.

When I first had the idea for this card it was back in the Innistrad/Scars cycle and Azorius Charm hadn't entered the scene yet. At the time tempo play like this was mostly Unsummon. Making the card now I felt like it needed to also cover this kind of "unsummon plus" effect.

How about the following rework

Garruk's Retort. (1GG)
Instant
If a spell or ability an opponent controls would cause you to return a creature to your hand or place it on top of your library this turn, return that creature to the battlefield, and you gain life equal to its power.
"Choke on your cleverness and die" -Garruk, to Jace
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Kapol » 18 Mar 2013, 19:51

Utilitarian wrote:When I first had the idea for this card it was back in the Innistrad/Scars cycle and Azorius Charm hadn't entered the scene yet. At the time tempo play like this was mostly Unsummon. Making the card now I felt like it needed to also cover this kind of "unsummon plus" effect.

How about the following rework


You see, 'adding on' like that makes a card feel incredibly awkward. The only real case I've seen of this occurring in standard is Frontline Medic. Think of how awkward that counter ability on Frontline looks compared to the rest of the card. Yes, it was added on to deal with Sphinx's Revelations (or more likely bonfire, which was a problem for a while and would likely give them time to add it on). It does that job pretty well. But it still feels wonky. Now onto the card itself:

Garruk's Retort. (1GG)
Instant
If a spell or ability an opponent controls would cause you to return a creature to your hand or place it on top of your library this turn, return that creature to the battlefield, and you gain life equal to its power.
"Choke on your cleverness and die" -Garruk, to Jace


The first problem is that you're still basically countering the spell, just trying to word it so you 'aren't really countering it, just undoing it's effect.'

Second, the awkward wording is still there. "A spell or ability" is one case. Realistically, being able to counter an ability is pretty rare from what I've seen. But following that 'or' with this: "would cause you to return a creature to your hand or place it on top of your library this turn" just makes it feel that much more awkward. Especially since those two things are very different in nature.

And then there's the fact it lasts an entire turn, and affects all creatures. That is quite a lot of effect for one card.

Personally, I think something along the lines of this would work best while holding the spirit of the idea:

Garruk's Retort. (1G)
Instant
If a spell would cause you to return target creature to your hand, you may place a creature with an equal converted mana cost in your hand onto the battlefield under your control.
"Choke on your cleverness and die" -Garruk, to Jace


This would make it not a counter, deal with the awkward wording, and still allow you to get around the issue of bounce. It'd make opponents think more carefully about which creatures they bounce (lest they bring out a better one), make the creature played basically uncounterable, and basically makes them use up a spell. I removed the 'Azorius Charm' clause entirely because it just felt so forced and out of place on there to me.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Kapol » 18 Mar 2013, 19:52

For the record, I'm not trying to hammer down on people's ideas. In fact, I think that'll be the last one I comment on unless someone asks for feedback. My intent is to make the card more realistic for seeing play... but that's not as fun. :P
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Duckay » 18 Mar 2013, 20:13

Rioting Goblin (2R)
Creature - Goblin Warrior
Haste
Whenever a player draws more than one card in a turn, Rioting Goblin deals 1 damage to that player for each card drawn.
"No."
2/2

Yeah, yeah, I know it has problems. :P That being said, if anyone has any advice to make it theoretically playable, I'm all ears.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby ZePancakes » 18 Mar 2013, 20:17

Quash my designs! Through delightful feedback! :P
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Duckay » 18 Mar 2013, 20:24

ZePancakes wrote:Unholy Crusade (2B)
Enchantment

Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to an opponent, put a quest counter on Unholy Crusade.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if Unholy Crusade has 4 or more quest counters, sacrifice Unholy Crusade and search your or your opponents graveyard for a creature and put it on the battlefield.

"What do these abominations fight for?"
"The bones beneath your feet."


I think it's interesting that you say 'if... sacrifice it', rather than, 'if... you may sacrifice'. I don't really have any more thoughtful feedback on that, though.
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Dominic Appleguard » 18 Mar 2013, 20:38

I'm new to this. How is that cost?

Seraphic Paragon (2WW)
Creature - Angel
Flying, Shroud
If a spell would target a creature you control, you may copy that spell, targeting Seraphic Paragon as though it did not have Shroud.
Remember: it is through unity that we are strong.
2/3
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Re: Design a Card

Postby Utilitarian » 18 Mar 2013, 21:00

The issue is that if the spell doesn't do anything beyond prevent them from bouncing the creature, it's basically inferior to Ranger's Guile. The idea behind the spell is to PUNISH them for using a tempo play spell.

Also calling a spell that "undoes" the effect of a spell as the same thing as a counter seems off to me. If that were true any spell that gave Protection to a creature is a counterspell. Boros Charm is a counter spell. Safe Passage is a counter spell. The aforementioned Ranger's Guile is a counterspell.

Essentially I'm trying to mod the spell to work similar to a Trap spell, where the spell has a significantly powerful effect for its cost, but is only useful under fairly specific circumstances.

I agree that the wording is awkward on it but unfortunately there isn't a catch all term for "Removed from the battlefield but not put into your graveyard or exiled"

I added the clause for Ability because, again, Ranger's Guile provides that effect as well. It's gotta have something more than just stopping the unsummon/azorius charm or I'd just play Ranger's Guile or Sheltering Word.
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