The Confession Topic: Get It Off Your Chest!

[auberginequeen]

*Pokes Elomin with a stick*

Are you sure you haven't being replaced by an alien?

You're right, Gunner. Elomin has been acting way too human these days.

Otherworldly intervention is the only possible answer.

[Elomin Sha]

If by otherworldly you mean the idea of multiple realities I am envious of the two versions of me who managed by some fluke to be with either of the people I was/am/are/[enter correct descriptive word here] like.
Would you rather I start burning things again?

[My pseudonym is Ix]

Don't worry Elomin, we're only teasing. Do yo' thing and we'll be there to giggle along with ye

[auberginequeen]

Naw, in all honesty (sorry if I'm getting too serious here) I'm glad to see you open up a bit more. It's nice to be able to see who you are behind all the bags and fire and such. I know it's not like we talk or anything but I do keep track of people on the forums and I hope being able to admit you are interested in a relationship will serve as a stepping stone to you being able to connect with someone in the future.

Ew, what's all this mushy stuff coming out of me? Bleh. That's it, my heart is going back in the steel box I keep it locked in, where it belongs.

I can't say no to the more-burning thing though, else I'd have no place calling myself a Pyro.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

I don't think I could ever work for a video game studio as an artist (even though it might be awesome and enjoyable), because I don't think I'd enjoy working hard on a video game, but have aspects other than the art fail abysmally. It wouldn't be great working hard on a project and the cause of failures being elsewhere, and me possibly paying the price for other people's short falls.

That's ignoring that my art isn't what people look for when they think of fantasy art.

[Elomin Sha]

Too late, the fire still burns.

[Ricardo Anderson]

I usually use the nicks "Mister Benzo" , "Mr. Benzo" or "Toranpu" on the internet.
Somehow, here in the forum I just felt like using my real name as my nick.
Weird.

[auberginequeen]

I almost always feel as though death is around the corner. I'm always afraid of wasting my time on this Earth, and yet I spend most of my time inside near my computer. Why? Because the things I'd rather be doing and the people I'd rather be doing those things with I can't do or see at that moment.

And I can't help but be really impatient all the time because I feel like the end is coming quickly. I'd rather be hanging out with <name> right now, but they're miles away. What if I die next week? What if they die tomorrow? I wish I was there now, so I could make the most of my time with them.

The terrible irony, of course, is that I spend so much time and energy wishing I was somewhere else doing something else that the things I actually end up doing (e.g. reading Reddit for hours on end) are exactly the kind of things I worry about wasting my life doing.

[AdmiralMemo]

Aub: I think just about everyone has that at some point in their life, and apparently, it most likely occurs in your late 20s or early 30s. I hit it towards the end of last year, and I got really depressed about it. I'm still recovering slowly from it.

Basically, what I'll tell people is to follow the advice of that country song "Live Like You Were Dyin'"
If you live like you were to die at any moment (which you totally could, even though it's unlikely most of the time), then you'll prioritize the things you really want to do. Do the things you want to do and live without regrets. And guess what? If you die, then you're fine, and if you don't, you still live with a sense of accomplishment.

But... at the same time, realize your limitations. If you want to hang out with Person X, figure out a way to make that happen. But if it can't happen right now for some legitimate reason, don't fret over it. The biggest thing is to teach yourself to distinguish between legitimate reasons for not doing something, and excuses your brain is just making up for not doing that thing. If something is out of your control, you cannot worry about it. Doing so will just make you go crazy.

Also, I've read and learned that people typically go through a process every 2 to 5 years looking back on that past time and thinking "Man, was I an idiot, wasting my life thinking and doing those things. But now I think I've got it together." They charge forward with their new goal in mind. Then, 2 to 5 years later, they look back again and realize they were still an idiot, but just a different kind of idiot, and they still don't have it all together.
Well, guess what... No one has it all together. We're all just winging it the best we can while we're here. If you're worried about "wasting time" just remember that plenty of other, smarter, wiser, more successful people have wasted even more time than you to get where they are now.

Question: do you enjoy reading Reddit for hours on end? Not in comparison to other things, but just in itself. Does it engage you? Do you get something out of it? If so, it's not really "wasting" time. Sure, you could be doing other things that give you even more engagement, enjoyment, and pleasure, but no one lives the perfectly-efficient life. Enjoy what you've got and prepare in advance when you can.

We're here for you, too. Remember that.

[auberginequeen]

Thanks for the reply Memo. I mean it when I say I care about you. I know I'm far away IRL and I act kinda dopey on the server (intentionally; it's where I try to take myself less seriously) but I do care. I feel bad when you're upset and I wish I could make it better, I'm sorry I can't a lot of the time.

Also sorry, I'm kind of emotional right now, been really stressing myself out lately, you can check the Venting Thread if you're interested. It's alright if you don't, though. Anyway.

I do have the problem that I worry about things that are "out of my control" because I have a hard time knowing/accepting what's out of my control. For example, lots of people say that you can't really control what other people think of you. Well, I don't believe that. I probably should, but there's a part of me that says that if I only acted more like x or did y, the person would like me, and so I take rejection and the like as a personal failure. Or if something happens and things go poorly I always ruminate over what I could/should have done, even if those things aren't reasonable things to expect from someone. I have really high standards for myself and other people, and so I assume everyone else does as well. I'm trying to work on that.

Also with respect to the "no one knows what they're doing" thing, I think if you knew my parents, you'd see why I have a hard time taking that to heart as well (though I know intellectually that you're right). My parents project a sense of knowing everything and/or being confident in themselves really well. They dish out opinions about life as though they were fact and almost never show weakness or vulnerability, even to me, even in the face of other people's vulnerability. As a result, it's hard to get that sense that everyone's making it up as they go, when the people closest to me speak in terms of "That's the way it is," and so on. You're right though, most people are vulnerable and just hiding it. I guess I'm not good at seeing that, maybe because I can't project an image like that yet.

The problem with the Reddit thing is that no, I don't really enjoy reading Reddit for hours. It gives me a very low level of stimulation, but I can't stop doing it, perhaps because it only stimulates me a little. Therefore I have a hard time breaking away, because I keep hoping that the next thing will stimulate me more, or that if I keep at it the tiny amount of stimulation will build up over time. It doesn't, but it's insidious like that. That's why I consider it wasted time, because I could be doing work or more pleasurable things, but I don't.

Anyway, thank you, it was very kind of you to take the time and effort.

PS: I miss you messing with me on the server. Sometime when it's up if you have time come pour lava on something I care about.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

Every other day I struggle at avoiding spoiling Films that I haven't seen. They're films like the Avengers or Pacific Rim. I haven't seen them because my social group are not into those films. I also do not have the funds to purchase them on DvD. Oh well, one day.

[King Kool]

I got blocked by someone on Twitter for a rickroll.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

How petty.

[Geoff_B]

That person obviously is gonna give you up.

[RytelCSF]

I hate my username. Specifically, I hate the initials at the end, which while benign, remind me of the horrible person I was years ago when I made this account.

I want to get it changed, but that would involve bugging Paul, and Paul's got enough things to worry about.

Besides, part of me thinks I should keep it so I never forget the terrible person that I used to be.

That said, whenever someone uses my full username when addressing me, I cringe a little.

[Master Gunner]

Just send Paul a PM and an Email with your request (various members of the crew have said that they don't check their PMs often/at all, so email is the better bet; the PM is to confirm it's you asking). A single message does not count as bugging Paul, and it's a request others have made before.

[poopintheairtonight]

A potential employer called and hung up on the answering machine (WHO DOES THAT?) I'm so nervous I don't even have any idea what to say "Hey I applied last week, and yall called and hung up on the answering machine..."

[Darkobra]

You got a point. Why not try phoning up and saying you applied last week and you were wondering if there were any current vacancies still available?

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

When I showed my sister Doctor Horrible's Sing Along Blog, she recognise Felicia Day from... Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

I was impressed by that.

[Kapol]

I really dislike when Alex goes off on 'Game Design' rants during his streams. To the point that I often just shut off the stream when he does. It's fair for him to do so, but it's just something I don't like. For some more details, I've put it in collapse. But that's the general idea behind my confession, because I know a decent amount of people like them.

Click to Expand

One of my biggest issues is that, when he tends to go off, he goes off for a while. He tries to stress his point over a while. I never really finished Thief because he spent a lot of it that I saw just complaining about generic woman and the overall more 'action' feel a lot of it had. I'm not saying that these are not fair complaints. But when he goes on for 10-15 minutes about it, I get less and less interested.

The worst part is that he often says the same thing every time he talks about a game. It normally boils down to:

-This game has great atmosphere!
-These puzzles are bullshit!
-Why can't more games be like this one!
-This character is boring/bad

I do think that he can say interesting things too. Like when he talked about tiling in DS2, I thought it was interesting... for the first little bit where he explained it. When he kept going on and on about it is when it became an issue for me.

[AdmiralMemo]

Well, it's his pet peeve, and I think we all have them. There are times to just let him vent.

Also, there are some people who just don't know when to shut up. I'm one of them. I think Plummeting_Sloth could tell you that I dominated the conversation when we met, and I didn't realize it until much, much later. Alex may be the same way: without a clear direction to "move on with the conversation" he may become fixated on a small group of points.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

I would probably be the same if I ever stream.
Like, I will only use Pokemon in Pokemon who I like their aesthetic design. I won't touch stuff that looks ugly but had bigger numbers.

Though, it'd probably be like "that looks good" and "that looks crap".

I most likely would stream RollerCoaster Tycoon World.
---
I never realised that there was ground snow in Australia:

[Kapol]

*snip*

Which is fair. I'm not saying that he should change, just that it's something that bothers me. It's here because I know some people like when he goes off on those rants. I kind of feel like I'm in the minority. Hence the confession aspect. But one of the other aspects I dislike is how him going on these rants can cause a 'groupthink' situation. People seem to be more likely to agree with the streamer (or similar Let's Player). Which creates a recursive cycle of feedback in chat.

Though, it'd probably be like "that looks good" and "that looks crap".

If it was just a passing mention or something, then it wouldn't be as annoying to me. He just tends to go on for a while about certain aspects.

[AdmiralMemo]

Which is fair. I'm not saying that he should change, just that it's something that bothers me. It's here because I know some people like when he goes off on those rants. I kind of feel like I'm in the minority. Hence the confession aspect. But one of the other aspects I dislike is how him going on these rants can cause a 'groupthink' situation. People seem to be more likely to agree with the streamer (or similar Let's Player). Which creates a recursive cycle of feedback in chat.

I feel like that in some other situations, and there is nothing wrong with being in the minority. You can't be "wrong" about personal preferences, even if you might feel wrong, since there are so many who disagree with you.

Here's the key question I have: why are you watching the stream to begin with? Is it because you like most of the other aspects of it, but you just don't like this one part? Would you feel like you were missing out on stuff you liked if you didn't watch it? If so, I hear you.

[Kapol]

I feel like that in some other situations, and there is nothing wrong with being in the minority. You can't be "wrong" about personal preferences, even if you might feel wrong, since there are so many who disagree with you.

Here's the key question I have: why are you watching the stream to begin with? Is it because you like most of the other aspects of it, but you just don't like this one part? Would you feel like you were missing out on stuff you liked if you didn't watch it? If so, I hear you.

I know. It's more me justifying why this is here rather than the venting thread. But for the questions, I normally watch the stream because Alex is generally funny. And watching him play some games is really interesting (for example, I enjoy watching Misery right now). Sometimes they're games I wouldn't normally play. And sometimes because he's funny while playing them (like Watch+Play). It's more just that one aspect. That makes me kind of disappointed when he starts going off on rants. If I keep watching, I know I'll just get more annoyed and/or bored. If I stop, I might miss something good later.