The Big Relationship Thread

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Darkobra
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Darkobra » 12 Aug 2014, 01:52

Definitely expand your knowledge topics. I met a guy a month or two ago who was quite interesting and knew a lot of what I do. He probably knows more and hasn't shown that yet. And he starts to ask me a few questions! I answer them and he goes "THANK GOD! SOMEONE ELSE KNOWS!"

Go on a QI marathon basically! Then start swirling a martini glass and spout a fact out every half hour. If she's sick of you, she's the one.

... At least mine's sick of me.

"Did you know..."
"Stop."
"... that a duck's penis..."
"I knew it'd be penis related."
"... is shaped like a corkscrew?"
"I don't even want to know."
"I mean it just seems like a terrible way to open a wine bottle!"
"... WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?!"
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Bebop Man » 12 Aug 2014, 05:26

I thought those were pigs? Or am I getting mixed with their tails?
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Lyinginbedmon
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 12 Aug 2014, 05:38

Pigs have curly tails according to popular depictions, but ducks have corkscrew penises to clear out competing sperm and navigate the female duck's vagina maze.
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Darkobra
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Darkobra » 12 Aug 2014, 05:42

There was a second animal. Don't know if it's pigs too. I know ducks is one of them.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Prospero101 » 12 Aug 2014, 05:52

In fairness, my body of knowledge is a fair bit broader than that, but it is mostly historical in nature.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 12 Aug 2014, 06:03

Pigs have corkscrew penis.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Darkobra » 12 Aug 2014, 07:08

That would explain the stripes on bacon rashers.
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Like a vampire.
But with knives.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Prospero101 » 12 Aug 2014, 07:36

The fact that my request for relationship advice led immediately to discussions of the penile anatomy of pigs and mallards does not bode well for my prospects.
It's all over but the crying. And the taxes.

"Perfectionism might look good in his shiny shoes, but he's kind of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties."
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Darkobra » 12 Aug 2014, 08:27

I am willing to bet I can steer ANY topic to penis-related discussion! It's my super power.

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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Avistew » 12 Aug 2014, 09:12

If I recall, not only are duck penises corkscrew shaped, but the female vaginas are shaped the opposite way, that is also a corkscrew but going in the other direction, making them the least likely species to experience rape, because the female needs to be willing for the whole thing to happen anyways.

I also remember seeing a video where they showed a duck and various glass recipients with weird shapes and showed how long it takes the penis to deploy inside them. It was one of those super-weird-yet-fascinating videos.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Master Gunner » 12 Aug 2014, 11:24

Least likely to be impregnated by rape. As I recall, ducks experience/commit sexual assault fairly regularly, which is what caused the whole vagina/penis situation in the first place.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Bebop Man » 12 Aug 2014, 12:56

Apparently ducks and geese are a typically rapist species. Dolphins too.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Darkobra » 12 Aug 2014, 12:57

And rabbits.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Bebop Man » 12 Aug 2014, 13:03

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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 12 Aug 2014, 13:34

Bugs Bunny is a hare, not a rabbit.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Bebop Man » 12 Aug 2014, 13:48

Doesn't Elmer hunt "wabbits"?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 12 Aug 2014, 13:54

Buggs called him Nimrod.
But because Americans didn't know Nimrod was a hunter and he was being called it sarcastically they thought it meant idiot.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Bebop Man » 12 Aug 2014, 14:03

Hares live above ground, rabbits tunnel. The list of pros and cons goes on. He doesn't seem to be specifically identified as a hare or a rabbit. His intro short was A Wild Hare, followed by Elmer's Pet Rabbit, Hiawatha's Rabbit Hunt and Tortoise Beats Hare. I think he's whatever you want him to be. And for what it's worth Elmer is repeatedly hunting wabbits, isn't he?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 12 Aug 2014, 14:06

You dare question Lord Stephen Fry and QI? Have at ye!
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby poopintheairtonight » 12 Aug 2014, 15:42

Bebop Man wrote:Apparently ducks and geese are a typically rapist species. Dolphins too.


Penguins as well. Straight up don't trust large birds yo.
Well, do you want an ethical solution or an effective one?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby viscomica » 12 Aug 2014, 17:20

So this is what it has come down to. We're talking about birds and bunnies on the big relationship thread.
Well done LRR, chapeau! :D
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby poopintheairtonight » 12 Aug 2014, 17:40

Well I'd talk about my relationship, but something would have to happen in my relationship.
Well, do you want an ethical solution or an effective one?
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Darkobra
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Darkobra » 12 Aug 2014, 18:31

There's still a bird and some bunnies involved in my relationship too!
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby viscomica » 12 Aug 2014, 19:24

The bird is the word
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Avistew » 12 Aug 2014, 21:06

Thanks for the correction. I guess it doesn't make it that much better for the female ducks then.
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