Quote of the Day

[OMGItsSarah]

I heard something interesting while in P.E. class today. We were playing hockey, and there was a pair of cheerleaders (who are not very intelligent, I know from personal experience) standing in the corner. I got close to them, and heard one say to the other, "I don't like this game! I mean, they play it in Canada, for God's sake!"

Anyone else have interesting or failtacular quotes to share?

[Buzz001]

In ICT, it's the teachers birthday. He's an oldish chap, about 50. We ask him, "Sir, did you get any nice presents?". "Well" he replied, "I got a book, a shirt, and one or two other bits and pieces. I believe my wife has something special planned for me later though". Me and my friend look at each other in shock horror. He goes on to say "I think she got me the special ergonomic chair I asked for".

We never asked what the surprise was. I think it's best that way

[Annchan]

He didn't say there was a surprise though. he said she has something special, in specific an ergonomic chair. I don't see what is so strange about this.

[goat]

In my history class the period before our exam:

Girl: "So, like... I don't understand really what's going on. Like the book talks about [name of governmental regime] and all these different people and they're like doing stuff and I just don't get like what's going on."

Prof: "I'm not going to go over the last 3 weeks of lectures for you. Is there a more specific question you would like to ask?"

That is nearly verbatim the exchange that took place, but with more "um"s and "like"s and horrified looks from the professor.

[Metcarfre]

Overheard in my Philosophy 100 class one time. End of the year, we had a 10-page research paper due, worth 25% of our mark - minimum 3 sources.
Guy A "What did you do for sources?"
Guy B "Nothing, I just used the textbook."
Guy A "Yeah, me too."

*facepalm* I had researched and written mine in 24 hours and got 95%; it's not like it's hard, guys. It's called a LIBRARY.

But then, this was the same class where THREE people were kicked out of UVic, never to return, for plagiarizing not ONCE, but TWICE. AFTER the prof spent half a class explaining exactly what plagiarism is and what the consequences were. One even handed in a report the prof had specifically written and posted online to get hits on Google.

First years are so dumb.

[Master Gunner]

I've seen people pass in plagiarized papers without even changing the name, or in Comp Sci have all 8 assignments for the course appear on the computer within 8 minutes of each other.

Yeah, people are dumb, but so fun to laugh at.

[Gordon Fearman]

I heard something interesting while in P.E. class today. We were playing hockey, and there was a pair of cheerleaders (who are not very intelligent, I know from personal experience) standing in the corner. I got close to them, and heard one say to the other, "I don't like this game! I mean, they play it in Canada, for God's sake!"

Unlike the world's greatest sport,

CURLING!

[Annchan]

Less of a quote and more of a 'stupid people saying stupid things" point. There is this guy where I work that just strikes up conversation with be about the dumbest things. Like his side job delivering newspapers or shoveling snow, There is no prompting or easing into the conversation he just starts talking as if I care why he shovels snow for the mailman.
I don't care, I am not pretending to look interested. WTF?

[Bananafish]

Was watching a p old Popeye movie and one of the lines had me in stitches, Popeye said "I ain't no physicist, but I know what matters!"

[Mad Madam Mimm]

I am dense when it comes to cooking-
Friend- So, spinach and ricotta pasta sounds good.
Me- Yeah.
Friend- .... do you know what ricotta is?
Me- It's a kind of herb, isn't it?

In my defense, ricotta is always with other stuff so how should I know what it is?

[Machalllewis]

In my defense, ricotta is always with other stuff so how should I know what it is?

Wellllll, chips are always with other stuff too. In fact potatoes of any sort are always served with other stuff. Thinking about it so are peas... and corn.

[Theremin]

"I bet you're hoping I don't steal your loins."

Me. To people I'd never met before.

[Myrph]

Was doing a search into Harlan Ellison and stumbled across this gem!

"Why do people keep insisting that I join the 21st Century? I *LIVE* in the 21st Century! I just don't want to be bothered by the shitheads on the internet!"

- Harlan Ellison

[wartjr2373]

Back in high school, I was dwindling away my lunch hour playing DS in a stairwell, when I overheard two guys studying chemistry.

One of the guys asks the other what happens when a certain two substances are combined (I don't remember which they were). The response was, and I quote, "I don't know, there'll be, like, bubbles and shit."

That's one chemical reaction I don't want to see.

[Alja-Markir]

Me, sleeptalking when being woken up in the middle of the night by a lass very dear to me who had been playing in the rain under the moon and was now cold, wet, naked, and asking where the towels were.

"You don't matter, 'cuz you're a shoe."

~Alja~

[OMGItsSarah]

It snowed today. A lot. But we still had school. The road conditions were bad, so they gave us early dismissal. Two minutes early, to be exact. As I stepped onto the bus, I asked the driver why we'd only been let out two minutes early, which seemed rather pointless. Her (completely serious) response - "Well, it was supposed to be five."

[Master Gunner]

Me, yesterday morning, on twitter:

Try a flashlight with a gerbil.

[Darkobra]

Me, yesterday morning, on twitter:

Try a flashlight with a gerbil.

Sounds like a medieval colonoscopy.

[Gordon Fearman]

They wouldn't have had flashlights, though.

[Theremin]

"I AM the fellatio school."

From yesterday. Person's identity withheld.

[Gordon Fearman]

You have some odd pillow talk.

[GreigKM]

"Go-Go Gadget Dead Baby." - Me after someone said Inspector Gadget can make anything funny.

[Lawman]

I had my first lecture for a particular module yesterday. To begin, the lecturer began by cleaning the blackboard, and while he was doing so, started telling us a story, in his calm Russian accent:

"There was study done on children who play violent video games, and children who play instead... say, football. They were each given job interview, and, as planned, the interviewer knocks over a tin of pencils, and they go everywhere. None of the kids who play violent video games go to help, but all the kids who played football instead were happy to help."

He's almost finished rubbing everything out.

"I tell you this because no-one is helping me clean these blackboards!"

It's good to know our lecturer has a good sense of humour.

[Arius]

"You've got a celestial body." *Under his breath* "A gas giant."

I know mean people.

[Mister Fiend]

"How can you call me irresponsable, I have a baby!"
a fifteen year old girl I work with.