The Mixed Emotion Thread

[Bebop Man]

I love breaking even at roulette but technically there's a mixed feeling to it because you have to lose before you break even.

[empath]

...or you're winning and you have to finish with a loss. Either way, yeah.



So yesterday, I think I had my first panic attack. A mild one, but...

So the supermarket has a row of shops renting space along the front of the building: a doctor's office, a cell phone dealer, a travel agent, etc.

And one of the girls from the hair dressing salon came by to get a bite to eat. After I served her and she went over to the checkouts to pay, my co-worker came up and mentioned that one of the staff of the salon had committed suicide. We talked about that for a little, and then went back to our tasks...

...and I thought sympathetically to the surviving staff, and that got me thinking back...

...and next thing I know, my chest is tight, and I can feel my throat throbbing in time with my pulse. Said pulse had gotten up to 100+bpm, and I barely had to touch my fingers to my skin to clearly feel it (where I usually have to press in a little to feel the pulse in the artery). I tried my usual method to calm myself - Pranayama breathing, but that didn't seem to do anything for a while.

My hands remained steady the entire time, and I wasn't 'trapped in my thoughts' - I could go on with my work and concentrate on that. I was just really anxious and worked up for about a half-hour before my pulse came back down to its usual 70's.

Shit, if that's just the tip of the iceberg?
*hugs people prone to crippling panic attacks*

[Ptangmatik]

Just finished correcting a paper about how literacy is a bad thing, leading to the formalisation of social inequality, among other terrible things.

I am quite calm about it however, viewing it as an exercise in zen-level irony.

[Tycherin]

Just finished correcting a paper about how literacy is a bad thing, leading to the formalisation of social inequality, among other terrible things.

I am quite calm about it however, viewing it as an exercise in zen-level irony.

Like I've always said, the perfectly equal society is the one in which everyone is dead.

[Ptangmatik]

Like I've always said, the perfectly equal society is the one in which everyone is dead.

SomethingsomethingHitlerjokesomething.

Where'd I leave those paracetamol?

[empath]

Just finished correcting a paper about how literacy is a bad thing, leading to the formalisation of social inequality, among other terrible things.

I am quite calm about it however, viewing it as an exercise in zen-level irony.

...I think that almost belongs in the lol-thread.

"Citizens are Raging Against Phones, Lazlow!"

"But...what are you calling me on?!?"

"That's not the point!"

[Sieg Reyu]

So, I got in three sets of One Piece DVDs today.

I watched the first one today, and to sum it up

Click to Expand

But on the upswing, I've still got 24 episodes to watch.

[empath]

Wait...WHAT? I've been reading that O-P screencap webcomic...now you make me not wanna continue if that's looming ahead of me.

[The Jester]

I dunno how a webcomic that makes the story into a D&D-like RPG kind of story, like Darths and Droids, will handle that scene... In the anime that was one of the most touching scenes I can remember.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

It's great when you create a bit of improvisation when playing an instrument.

It just sucks when you don't know what you did or how you did it.

But at least it's flattering what you can come up with. I can say, after my random improvisation, I am an amazing violinist.

[2stepz]

So... today I turned in my resignation to one of my jobs. (The little part time very painful one... just not worth the pain.) It was a good job with good people, but I like feeling my toes, and standing for 4-8.5 hours straight does not lend well to that, due to my bone spurs and plantar fasciitis.

Over the last week I have been dropping off applications to other small part-time positions. I dropped one off at 3 pm yesterday, and got a call back this morning at 9, with an interview this afternoon. The hours and work will be much better for me if I get it.

but if I don't, I'll be back to looking...

NERVES!

[Tapir12]

Good luck!!

[The Jester]

Yeah, good luck 2Stepz.

[My pseudonym is Ix]

Encouragement!

[MinniChi]

No more bread baking in my pastry class!!

[auberginequeen]

I don't think I've ever felt as loved as I did today.

[empath]

So, who's got two thumbs, and access to lrrEMOTES again?

*gestures* THIS GUY!

Picked up a prepaid CC after work...because while I have a pending transfer into Paypal, it should be applied around the 20th...and Netflix gets paid each month on the 22nd...and all these 'seasonal' St.Pat's-themed sales END around the 20th...

HAD to get that SEGA Humble Weekly Sale, but now this leaves me with just over $11cdn on the card...

...and I had to go watch Graham play Alan Wake's American Nightmare...

...and just fifteen minutes in now I'm MAJORLY jonesing for Alan Wake itself, which is still $30...but is part of GOG's 'Luck of the Irish' bundle sale - pick five games and get them 90% off.

BUT, even if I tag AW (at $3), and four other games that are discounted down to $2, that STILL brings the bill to $11usd, which is GOING to convert to greater than the balance left on my prepaid card.

Grrrrrrrr...it feels wasteful to go get ANOTHER prepaid card tomorrow, even if I do have the cash to spare from my tax refund...I could wait for Paypal...but my estimate is that I'd have just hours between the transfer completing and these cool sales ending...and I know I'd be at work on that day



...also, I already HAVE Alan Wake's American Nightmare (from a previous GOG bundle sale), so now I'm torn between watching Graham play it, and playing it for the first time myself...or maybe putting BOTH options to one side until I've got and played through the first game?

[auberginequeen]

This is kind of a complex emotion I'm feeling here - a mixture of gratitude, happiness, sadness, and large spoonful of exhaustion. Also I'm a little on edge having just completed a major project with several Cokes' worth of caffeine in my system, so it's going here.

I love all you guys. For all my whinging and depressive b.s. over the past five years I want you guys to know I appreciate you and this community. You're all so supportive, and I think I'd be a lot more socially and emotionally stunted if not for all of you and all the friends I've made here. I check the forum multiple times a day and even though I only ever seem to post when I've got something to complain about I read almost all the posts in all the threads. I think about you guys all the time and I care for you all, whether you like it or not. Yes, you reading this. I love you. You're great. Deal with it.

Thanks for everything. You're in my heart.

[Jamfalcon]

And you fit right in with the rest of us on that, Aubergine.

I'm with you 100% on all that—I stick to some threads more than others, but I read everything here, and everyone is awesome. I'm not a super social person in the real world, and the nature of what I'm doing with my life right now means I'm not inclined to get out of the house all that often. You guys keep me talking and interacting to a degree I never have online before, and I think I'd feel a lot more isolated without this place.

The fact that I'd be happy to get to know any one of the regular posters on here in the real world just goes to show that you're all the bee's knees. And even if you don't feel like you're one of the regular posters, you're probably more well-known than you think. Honestly, I'm only just starting to get over feeling like the "new guy" and accepting that people probably remember who I am. And it's really great knowing that.

Now that I've gone off on a tangent started to derail Aubergine's point, I should probably stop typing.

[Juliamon]

My nana died today.

She was my last remaining grandparent.

I am oddly happy that the funeral will, with any luck, be the last one for a close relative I will attend for a long time. Worrying about her dying was a pretty constant source of anxiety for the last few years (her health really started to decline after her husband passed, they had been married for like 70 years and still really loved each other) and it will be a huge relief for both me and my mom to not have to worry about her anymore.

[MinniChi]

Last night (midnight) I received an email from the owner at the teashop I was working at. He fired me in an email.
On a happy note, I get to spend more time with my children, but the experience would have been great for the next job. I still haven't determined if I'm very upset about this, or just unhappy at the loss of money.

[Dutch guy]

Last night (midnight) I received an email from the owner at the teashop I was working at. He fired me in an email.
On a happy note, I get to spend more time with my children, but the experience would have been great for the next job. I still haven't determined if I'm very upset about this, or just unhappy at the loss of money.

Thats kind of a dick way to fire someone. At the very least have the decency for a telephone call...

[Prospero101]

And you fit right in with the rest of us on that, Aubergine.

I'm with you 100% on all that—I stick to some threads more than others, but I read everything here, and everyone is awesome. I'm not a super social person in the real world, and the nature of what I'm doing with my life right now means I'm not inclined to get out of the house all that often. You guys keep me talking and interacting to a degree I never have online before, and I think I'd feel a lot more isolated without this place.

The fact that I'd be happy to get to know any one of the regular posters on here in the real world just goes to show that you're all the bee's knees. And even if you don't feel like you're one of the regular posters, you're probably more well-known than you think. Honestly, I'm only just starting to get over feeling like the "new guy" and accepting that people probably remember who I am. And it's really great knowing that.

Now that I've gone off on a tangent started to derail Aubergine's point, I should probably stop typing.

This. Quite often when I hang around here it's hard to keep it straight. Am I a regular poster? Am I part of a community? Do people really pay attention to my jokes and respond to my silly little thread about last words?

I'm not sure if this belongs in the Mixed Emotion thread, since the emotion is mostly just surprise and disbelief.

[My pseudonym is Ix]

And you fit right in with the rest of us on that, Aubergine.

I'm with you 100% on all that—I stick to some threads more than others, but I read everything here, and everyone is awesome. I'm not a super social person in the real world, and the nature of what I'm doing with my life right now means I'm not inclined to get out of the house all that often. You guys keep me talking and interacting to a degree I never have online before, and I think I'd feel a lot more isolated without this place.

The fact that I'd be happy to get to know any one of the regular posters on here in the real world just goes to show that you're all the bee's knees. And even if you don't feel like you're one of the regular posters, you're probably more well-known than you think. Honestly, I'm only just starting to get over feeling like the "new guy" and accepting that people probably remember who I am. And it's really great knowing that.

Now that I've gone off on a tangent started to derail Aubergine's point, I should probably stop typing.

This. Quite often when I hang around here it's hard to keep it straight. Am I a regular poster? Am I part of a community? Do people really pay attention to my jokes and respond to my silly little thread about last words?

I'm not sure if this belongs in the Mixed Emotion thread, since the emotion is mostly just surprise and disbelief.

Yes to all. You're a pretty cool dude Prospero.

[Fezzul]

Today two things happened of weight.

I went on a second date with a girl to see 'The Grand Budapest Hotel'. It was a good date, we really like each other, and I'm very happy with the way things are going. The film was great too. The night ended with us kissing in front of various dramatic New York views, which I think is pretty cool.

Also, my dog back in Oman died. She got an infection, there were complications and her kidneys failed. I'm having a trouble processing it. I'm sad, but it feels so un-immediate and far away. Balance that opposite another part of my life going very well for a change, and I'm a little at a loss.

This post is a very literal definition of this thread.