The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Mums » 04 Jul 2014, 02:21

cuddlyblade wrote:Wooo soon I get to have sex again for the first time in a long time :)!
O DEAR GOD WHAT IF I FUCK IT UP, I'M SO OUT OF PRACTICE!


Congratz. I think you'll pick it up again quick. Hard not to write puns in this thread. Once you get into it you should be fine, also, it's not that serious a thing. Have fun and if t's a person worth doing it with you will probably not get thrown out for one a little less good sex atempt. If you still feel nervous about it it might help to talk to the person about it.

Also, if you fuck it up, then fuck it down again, and then sideways! As I said before, have fun, that's probably the most important aspect!
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Elomin Sha » 04 Jul 2014, 02:37

Just be glad you're getting to have sex.
I think a lot of people from this thread would say: enjoy it.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Mums » 04 Jul 2014, 03:59

Well, I think he probably is mostly glad to get to have it. That doesn't take away from the fact that there is quite a lot of pressure and anxiety in the thought of the act to be good. Silly sports metaphor, if I was to shoot a penelty in the final match of the football world cup I would be happy to do it, but I would be nervous and anxious about my performance.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby cuddlyblade » 04 Jul 2014, 15:08

Elomin Sha wrote:Just be glad you're getting to have sex.
I think a lot of people from this thread would say: enjoy it.


O i am glad. I'm very glad. I can assure you of that.


Mums wrote:Well, I think he probably is mostly glad to get to have it. That doesn't take away from the fact that there is quite a lot of pressure and anxiety in the thought of the act to be good. Silly sports metaphor, if I was to shoot a penalty in the final match of the football world cup I would be happy to do it, but I would be nervous and anxious about my performance.


Uhhhhhh sex I can do but if you want your penalty shots taken you should really get somebody else. I can barely kick the ball straight XD.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Bebop Man » 04 Jul 2014, 16:03

The important thing is you'll be able to sing this either way.

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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Elomin Sha » 09 Jul 2014, 14:40

.
Last edited by Elomin Sha on 02 May 2017, 14:08, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby viscomica » 09 Jul 2014, 15:54

Awkward, very awkward.
If someone stopped me in the middle of the street I wouldn't be pleased (I'm usually late and / or in a rush). Maybe it's because I've always lived in a big city :P
Still it sounds really awkward, Elomin.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Elomin Sha » 09 Jul 2014, 16:00

I think I handled myself well in the situation.
Awkwardness started when he found ways to bring it back to the same subject.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Jamfalcon » 09 Jul 2014, 16:20

While strange, that certainly sounds like a memorable experience. I think I would've become pretty uncomfortable pretty quickly, but you handled it well I think. Can't really say what his intentions might have been, but your theory seems plausible.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Duckay » 09 Jul 2014, 16:24

Yeah, were that me I would have made my excuses to get out of there quickly.I think you're right, if it came up organically once, sure, but continually bringing it up? I would feel extremely awkward.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Elomin Sha » 09 Jul 2014, 16:30

To be honest the bringing back a previous topic I've done when conversation moved onto something else. That was usually with wrestling years ago because it was my main interest, and things people said would remind me something I saw on TV or read from Mick Foley's books. And because I like giving out information I had to say what it was.
I am getting more annoyed by the Skype thing the further I get away from the incident, feels like he insulted my friend more so than me.

Other than that we had the same out look. Being gay is okay, be tolerant on other people's opinions and generally don't be a dick.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Laurnil » 09 Jul 2014, 18:10

Elomin, you were stopped by a pervert.....I laugh because your serious, thoughtful, and sweet nature kind of derailed his pervert fun, but there are people in this world who get off on shocking people with salacious things, and outright rejoice in offending people. Next time, don't be so honest about where you're staying or your family life. Women are usually the victims of these types of people, but sometimes they prefer men. The problem is that a lot of the times perverts aren't just satisfied with these types of interactions, they want to do something more. Something more dangerous and harmful. Please, be more careful about stranger danger in the future. I know you're not a kid, but when someone is a complete stranger and asking questions of this nature, warning bells should go off.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Avistew » 09 Jul 2014, 20:11

That guy was creepy. I'm not sure if he was trying to be or not, but he was. It's good he let you go, and I would say he was less insistent on figuring out where to live and how to contact you again than most creepy guys I've encountered, so that might be the end of it. He was probably hoping to get together with you, then realised you weren't interested at all and dropped it.

Or he was trying to shock you and since he couldn't he gave up.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby JustAName » 09 Jul 2014, 23:54

Yeah, frankly, that whole thing felt really predatory. I'm glad you feel you got something of value out of it, though.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Thysane » 10 Jul 2014, 00:24

I'm from Cork and..... yeah, I feel like I may have encountered this dude in the smoking area of a gay club once. Thankfully, I was standing next to a group of friends and had an excuse to cold-shoulder the guy. There's one or two older men like him in the community, had to rescue a college D&D buddy and some friends of his from one's weird advances later that same night.

Let me just say that, as a whole, Cork is a pretty cool place, but yeah. Then you get the Steves.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Elomin Sha » 10 Jul 2014, 01:18

What Laurnil says kind of confirms something else that happened to me years ago, that I thought may have been Stranger Danger years later.

I was thirteen(I think) on holiday with the family at one of the Mediterranean islands, I'm sure it was Majorca and not one of the Greek islands. We stopped at night at a bar to have food and drink.
I saw something on TV, turns out it was wrestling. I go and sit at the bar to get a better view. My first prolonged look at wrestling and started laughing because of a guy who was in what looked like black and red pajamas (turns out it was Kane).

Old man two stools to my left starts talking to me.
"What are you laughing at?"
"The wrestling, it's funny."
I continue to watch, chuckling as I do. The old man starts laughing with me, but he's not looking at the TV but at me.


"Are you with anyone?"
"My family."
"Where are they?"
"Over there somewhere." He's quiet for a second.
"Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, I've got one here." Nod to my almost empty coke glass. The match was ending so I stand.
"Got to go, bye."


Edit: Thysane, when you mentioned two other guys I remember that he waved to another two elderly men as they walked by.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Ptangmatik » 10 Jul 2014, 07:31

Elomin, that guy in Cork was a predator, using the "harmless old man" routine to assault you. Seriously, bringing up "ejaculation" in a conversation with a stranger is seriously fucked up. Make up an excuse and gtfo, don't put up with him, don't be polite, don't carry on talking.

I've fortunately only ever had to use that policy for when people start racist tirades expecting me to nod along, but don't ever humour them mate.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Elomin Sha » 10 Jul 2014, 07:49

As an attempted writer it's given me an idea for a two man play of sorts, but I agree that I should have stopped the conversation sooner.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Hepheastus » 11 Jul 2014, 01:48

Ptangmatik wrote: Make up an excuse and gtfo, don't put up with him, don't be polite, don't carry on talking.

I've fortunately only ever had to use that policy for when people start racist tirades expecting me to nod along, but don't ever humour them mate.


This reminds me of how I met one of my best friends. I was at a party and one person there was talking absolute bullshit about something, immigration I think, he was being generally racist. Anyway my soon to be friend just interrupted him mid tirade and said
"Well...You're a cunt aren't you" and calmly walked away
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Elomin Sha » 11 Jul 2014, 06:18

There we go, delayed reaction of realising what happened kicking in.
URGH!
Not really as funny an experience as it once was.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Lord Hosk » 11 Jul 2014, 08:36

I have had similar instances to what Elomin Sha described, although I generally pick up on it a little sooner than he describes.

It always strikes me as so strange and I go off on tangents contemplating a entire 'shadow' society out there where younger men go out and troll for old men to have homosexual relations with at airport/hotel bars and use the cover story of "im paying attention to something other than you" as a cover. Then I start wondering if the world I created in my head is whats going on or if this individual is just horny, or picking up on some ques that are unintentional.

For example, the last time this happened to me was I was at a hotel while waiting for waffles to cook for my daughters at breakfast. a guy came up and was talking to me, and asked if I was staying the whole weekend and if I got bored he would be working on his laptop in the lobby if I wanted to come down and talk because he would be there by himself all weekend... and Im like "dude, I just told you Im making waffles for my wife and daughters"
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby JustAName » 17 Jul 2014, 14:20

Arg. Vaginas are so difficult to maintain. Seriously anything and everything upsets their chemistry. I'm so tired of this bullshit.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Avistew » 17 Jul 2014, 15:12

Yeah, it can be annoying. Any specific issues you're having? I expect you already know the solution/how to limit it happening again and just want to vent, but if you want some advice, feel free to ask.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby JustAName » 17 Jul 2014, 15:25

It's the usual. Probably bacterial vaginosis. Nbd.
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Re: The Sex Thread 2: Because Two Hands Are Better Than One

Postby Elomin Sha » 17 Jul 2014, 15:28

Sounds like an enemy I faced in a boss battle once.
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