AdmiralMemo wrote:That is an interesting question. Why do I want to be remembered? It probably falls down to the fact that it's the only way that I know I would have made an impact on this world. That my contribution actually meant something.
Here's the problem: This is so nebulous a statement that it's really easy to look at anything and say "clearly I haven't made an impact", because it's not really quantifiable. How many people is "an impact"? Is it 1? 10? 100? 1000?
Because here are a couple impacts I already see:
1) You made enough of an impact on LRR and/or the LRR community to be made a twitch moderator
2) You made enough of an impact on a few people here in this thread to make them want to help you. To reply to what you're saying and give their own advice
Neither of those is meaningless, you've clearly made some impact. Do you want an understanding of why people help? Why they do things that aren't for them? Because it makes them feel good inside, usually. Why? Because someone else felt better because of something they did. The person they helped might not specifically remember that specific person, but it's pretty easy to remember "the nice young man that helped me across the street", or "the guy who gave me directions to the local attraction".
Why is one big impact more meaningful than a lot of small impacts? Is being remembered clearly for being terrible by a lot of people better than being remembered less specifically by a few people for smaller things that were helpful?
I will nth what other people are saying. Talk to a professional. Excuses are just that, excuses. They seem like good reasons right now, because they help you stay in the rut of routine, which is comfortable. It's also lazy. Laziness seems good, because that's what we know. But at some point, we realize that we're not ok with it. We're not happy with the rut we're in and something needs to change. It takes a step outside of your comfort zone in order to get out of that. Stop making excuses, and start DOING SOMETHING. Progress helps. Every step is still a step.