The depressing depression thread

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Danielle Pepin
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 07 Feb 2016, 02:26

auberginequeen, I'm both surprised and infuriated that the psychiatrist was so quick to dismiss it. The system must have them spread so thin that they don't feel like they can take the time to focus on giving you all the attention you need while they have you there.

Best thing I ever heard was from a psychologist who said one can only be responsible for their own actions and responses to things rather than responsible for other people's actions and reactions to your best efforts to make amends for mistakes you've made; for example refusing your apology regardless of your sincerity.
(Notice I used response vs reaction here. Someone reactive can be like a volcano erupting whereas someone who is responsive will respond likely with more analysis as a trained first-responder to the sight of an accident.)
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 08 Feb 2016, 12:04

I just received a message on twitch which I can only assume is from Mister_Blue_Sky claiming that after a year of trying in "this community" (which I can only assume is twitch chat...possibly forums?...I know it's not DB cause he was only in there a few days by what I saw).
The message indicated all that he wanted was a friend since grade 1 and that I'd done more than anyone had, including family and professionals etc...but he remains undeterred.

:(

I replied with explaining how I see it objectively and that making friendships take time and talking about yourself more than what I saw happening publicly from him. I also linked to the bike analogy and said I will miss him if he doesn't come back.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Phi » 08 Feb 2016, 15:31

I hope he comes back. And if you are reading this, Mister_Blue_Sky, we hope you haven't given up on us. We haven't given up on you.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 08 Feb 2016, 16:58

This is why mental health sector needs more resources. If the professionals he's talked to haven't been doing nearly as much as I've done there need to be more people that know the right things to say...not that a professional would make a good friend necessarily as many of them probably get told to not get involved for their own energy levels....and in the end it remains the person with the depression that has to make the choices and to trust what the people are telling them....and the depression makes that harder than rocks. :( People outside of the abyss try until blue in the face and it will only get through if the person inside can manage somehow to let it in.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Deedles » 08 Feb 2016, 22:57

Mister_Blue_Sky, if you see this I just want to tell you that I hope you come back. I would really like to get to know you!


On news from my end; My nightmares have changed tactic, now they're trying to make me feel like the worst human being.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Phi » 09 Feb 2016, 04:40

Deedles wrote:On news from my end; My nightmares have changed tactic, now they're trying to make me feel like the worst human being.

I personally found sleeping pills to be useful against highly-frequent nightmares, although they not a permanent solution, of course.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Deedles » 09 Feb 2016, 06:32

If I continue to have nightmares I'll see about taking some kind of weak sleeping pill, see if it helps. Thanks!
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Psycat Aurora » 09 Feb 2016, 08:54

I've started coming off my antidepressants and using other ways to cope. I seem to be having more difficulty with my depression lately. I've been putting on weight which hurts my self esteem. I'm also becoming increasingly unhappy at work. I got in trouble at work yesterday, which was really my own fault, but it upset me badly enough that I couldn't sleep last night and ended up not going to work today. And now I find myself eating takeout to feel better.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Twinklefeet » 09 Feb 2016, 14:10

After going out and trying to meet new people, get involved, not be quite so desperately, soul-crushingly lonely I have come to the conclusion that I am completely repugnant. I seem to be the guy that sucks all life and fun out of a conversation/event. People can just about tolerate me if they have to, but it's clear that no-one really cares or likes me that much. So I'm going to do what seems best: Shut up, fuck off and try not to bother people with my pathetic whinging. Except for this, of course. felt like I should write something somewhere and you're all a very lovely bunch of strangers-on-the-internet.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 09 Feb 2016, 16:16

Trying to identify if when I feel low is due to hunger/tiredness/I Am Feeling Low.

Would be nice if I had someone in my physical life I felt like I could talk about it when I have lowness.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 09 Feb 2016, 18:14

I want to mention a book in case it wasn't brought up earlier while I'm thinking of it. That book is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. http://www.amazon.ca/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034
It has a lot of tips in it for making your interesting side show by showing your own interest in others. Also stuff like ways of dealing with difficult people or complaint handling.


Merrymaker_Mortalis, I feel extra extremely low when I'm both tired and hungry or just really hungry...sometimes I don't even feel the hunger before feeling the low and that's what reminds me, "wait feeling this low isn't ok...have I eaten? NOPE."
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Arclight_Dynamo » 09 Feb 2016, 21:13

(Cross-posted from the LGBTQ thread)

So, remember the Bell Let's Talk campaign? It raises money for, and awareness about, mental health and mental health stigma. It came under criticism, since it provides funds to CAMH in Toronto. CAMH had a trans conversion "therapy" program.

That made me very unhappy. I wanted to support the campaign, but this made it absolutely impossible for me - it would be deeply unethical to support anything that funded such programs.

Well, good news! CAMH has ended that program!


On Tuesday, Toronto’s Centre for Addiction and Mental Health announced it will shutter its controversial Child, Youth and Family Gender Identity Clinic.

For almost 40 years, the clinic treated children as young as three years old who were gender-different in some way, using a range of psychological techniques to, essentially, try to convince them not to be. As detailed in more than 100 publications, children were seen as disordered if they differed from expectations and parents were enlisted to modify their child and especially to steer them away from being transgender.

This approach is now linked to a range of dismal outcomes, including a staggering rate of suicidal behaviour. No wonder, when young people are given the message that who they are is unacceptable to the people they love and depend on. Current best practices advise that young people be supported to explore their gender and that parents learn how to offer acceptance.

The previous CAMH model is also inconsistent with provincial and international human rights guidelines, and in June of this year Ontario Bill 77 made it an act of misconduct for a health professional to attempt to alter the gender expression or identity of a minor.

In response to community complaints, CAMH announced in February that the clinic would be subject to an external review. On Tuesday, a report was made public citing a list of serious ethical concerns. It was made known on the CAMH website that the clinic will be winding down and an apology was issued from medical director Kwame McKenzie for the service having been so out of step with current thinking.


Link

Which means something terrible has been ended, and I feel comfortable supporting the Let's Talk campaign in the future.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Deedles » 09 Feb 2016, 21:57

Twinklefeet wrote:After going out and trying to meet new people, get involved, not be quite so desperately, soul-crushingly lonely I have come to the conclusion that I am completely repugnant. I seem to be the guy that sucks all life and fun out of a conversation/event. People can just about tolerate me if they have to, but it's clear that no-one really cares or likes me that much. So I'm going to do what seems best: Shut up, fuck off and try not to bother people with my pathetic whinging. Except for this, of course. felt like I should write something somewhere and you're all a very lovely bunch of strangers-on-the-internet.


It can easily feel that way, but people going quiet can also be a sign of them trying to think of something helpful to say, because they want to make it better somehow. Alas, that is often easier said than done. One good way to get to know people is to ask about themselves and their interests, and finding something to engage with that way. So if you feel like you don't know what to say then inquire about something that someone else is saying.

I also know that this can be easier said than done, so don't feel discouraged if you feel awkward or unsure about it. I still fear that I'll be yelled at for being an intrusive freak(which is illogical and has never happened) or something when I'm asking perfectly innocent questions, so I'm working on this myself! So we can try to support each other in our endeavours to interact more with fellow meatbags. :)
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby My pseudonym is Ix » 10 Feb 2016, 12:42

Twinklefeet wrote:After going out and trying to meet new people, get involved, not be quite so desperately, soul-crushingly lonely I have come to the conclusion that I am completely repugnant. I seem to be the guy that sucks all life and fun out of a conversation/event. People can just about tolerate me if they have to, but it's clear that no-one really cares or likes me that much. So I'm going to do what seems best: Shut up, fuck off and try not to bother people with my pathetic whinging. Except for this, of course. felt like I should write something somewhere and you're all a very lovely bunch of strangers-on-the-internet.


Seriously dude, it comes with practice. Everyone has been 'that guy' in conversation at some point or other in life- the way you overcome it is just through experience. Honestly, tolerating one another is how most good friendships start, as it's hard to get too invested in someone you've only just met. Give it time, give it practice, and keep on meeting people. It will come.

Also, excellent piece of advice I was given once: "Confidence is attractive as hell. If you don't have it yet, fake it- it will come"
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Arclight_Dynamo » 11 Feb 2016, 17:39

This is a good read about antidepressants, I think.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby AdmiralMemo » 11 Feb 2016, 19:18

I need some real friends... and before any of you tell me about how real you are... I mean "real" in the sense that I could've called you up tonight to try to get a ride home, instead of standing on a corner for over an hour in sub-freezing temperatures in the wind waiting for a bus, to the point where I was unable to feel my limbs or face. :-(
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Phi » 14 Feb 2016, 10:56

Do you know these days when you feel like a repulsive, worthless monster who has no place or future? Yeah.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 15 Feb 2016, 02:22

My pseudonym is Ix wrote:
Twinklefeet wrote:After going out and trying to meet new people, get involved, not be quite so desperately, soul-crushingly lonely I have come to the conclusion that I am completely repugnant. I seem to be the guy that sucks all life and fun out of a conversation/event. People can just about tolerate me if they have to, but it's clear that no-one really cares or likes me that much. So I'm going to do what seems best: Shut up, fuck off and try not to bother people with my pathetic whinging. Except for this, of course. felt like I should write something somewhere and you're all a very lovely bunch of strangers-on-the-internet.


Seriously dude, it comes with practice. Everyone has been 'that guy' in conversation at some point or other in life- the way you overcome it is just through experience. Honestly, tolerating one another is how most good friendships start, as it's hard to get too invested in someone you've only just met. Give it time, give it practice, and keep on meeting people. It will come.

Also, excellent piece of advice I was given once: "Confidence is attractive as hell. If you don't have it yet, fake it- it will come"


I agree. Even the ones that have had practice and seem to have all the confidence in the world still doubt themselves part of the time. Even people that do amazing art or perform hilariously with comedy groups for the internet to watch.

Twinklefeet, everyone is a stranger before they become a friend, which makes us all potential friends once you stick around enough. Also with depression it can be hard to see where possible connections with people have been made when you do try (for example thoughts like, "they didn't like me" without proof like them having told you that it was true or not) so anything you can do to help lift the depression or manage it will help everything else be a bit easier. Please do keep reading the thread here including past posts cause we post helpful resources now and then (like my recommended book How to Win Friends and Influence People which I've read and have found it helpful in many situations which is probably at your local library if you aren't able to obtain your own copy).
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Deedles » 15 Feb 2016, 02:46

Phi wrote:Do you know these days when you feel like a repulsive, worthless monster who has no place or future? Yeah.


*hugs you tight* Yeah, I know those days. They hurt so much that one just feels numb, but we're here for you! And we care for you! And you are NOT a monster! Just remember to reach out and talk, babble, sing, just try to get out of your head-space so you don't get locked up in there.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 15 Feb 2016, 03:48

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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby AdmiralMemo » 15 Feb 2016, 10:31

Given what happened on Saturday, if anyone gets worried about my well-being, my phone number is +1-443-231-4504

I'm not worried about weird calls because this is a Google Voice number, and if anything goes wrong, I send those calls to spam.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby My pseudonym is Ix » 15 Feb 2016, 11:42

What happened Saturday? Is this some big news item I missed or was it a stream thing?
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby AdmiralMemo » 15 Feb 2016, 14:56

No big news, but a big misunderstanding. I was playing in the FanDraft. Crossing the Streams was going on. I was hosting LRR and popping in the Chat for little bits between rounds. After the draft, while I was in Chat at one point, I heard something on my porch. I typed in Chat. "... Who's at my door at midnight?" and then "/me grabs baseball bat"

Turns out it was nobody. Just a cat. However, I didn't go back to Chat afterwards. I sat down to do some MtGO stuff and forgot all about it. (I also wasn't streaming anymore at this point, which, had I been, people could've just seen that.)

Some members of Chat became concerned when I said I was going to check my door at midnight and then didn't return. They were particularly concerned because I live in Baltimore (where less than 300 murders a year is a good year) and they've seen some times when I was streaming and weird things happened outside. According to my logs, some were even asking if any of the Mods had my phone number. Hosk did, but either he didn't see the message or he wasn't worried enough about me to call/message.

So I ended up coming back in Chat about an hour later, and my screen filled with redtext and messages like "I told you he wasn't dead!"

So, if anyone has any concern over my well-being, y'all know how to contact me now.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Darkobra » 15 Feb 2016, 15:25

I've gone from the strongest person my friends know to being broken. It's finally got too much for me. I think I need help. And I have work tomorrow so I have to pretend to be fine.

This is the one place I have that I can actually vent this. The only ones that actually know me here I trust. God knows some people will use it as gossip and a weapon against me. That'd end up with me being in an explosive rage but it'd end up with me in a worse off position too.

I can't do this anymore. Not alone. And it's not a feeling I'm used to.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Avistew » 15 Feb 2016, 21:41

Good luck, Darkobra! I hope you get the help you need.
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