Overheard conversation

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Lyinginbedmon
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 21 Jul 2009, 17:52

theDreamer wrote:Peter Parker and Mary Jane.

I rest my case.

(funny story, the amount you can compare me and my gf to the above couple is something I take a surprising amount of pride in)

You can climb walls bare-handed and have a sixth sense of danger, whilst her face was covered up by conveniently-placed objects in the first few years you knew her?
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Brad » 21 Jul 2009, 17:54

tak197 wrote:Brad, the babysitter doesn't count. ;)

Also, from what I've seen, 98% of relationships started in high school DON'T WORK OUT. Wait until college, and you have a better shot at finding a suitable facsimile to "true love".


Of course not. You're a twerp when you're in high school. It's one of the pit stops on the road between you being born and the you you become. Everyone stops there. It's the only gas station for miles.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Nomadic » 21 Jul 2009, 21:12

I, in 10th grade, took a senior girl three years older than me to her senior prom because I wanted to help her out with a stalker problem. Sure, there were other guys her age, but I was the only one nice enough to step in and do something...especially when you consider I came about two inches away from having my face caved in from a well built angry teenager with emotional and psychological issues.

It does happen from time to time. You just have to look harder to find the nice guys younger. May I suggest looking for the shy "he's my best guy friend who would do anything for me and is a sweetheart" kind of guys?

Anywho, back on topic, I don't see too much of a problem with age as long as both are mature enough to know what they are getting into. BOTH. Meaning, if a guy/girl in their 20s tried dating someone several years their younger, the drastic shift in maturity would make that taboo. On the other hand, a person in their mid-50s dating someone in their 30s isn't that bad since both are on the same (relatively speaking) maturity level. It's all about perception and the standard by which society measures these things...most of the time it's by whether or not he or she is "legal."
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Cake » 22 Jul 2009, 01:30

Nomadic wrote:May I suggest looking for the shy "he's my best guy friend who would do anything for me and is a sweetheart" kind of guys?

That never happens. If a woman has a close male friend, this means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Unlucky » 22 Jul 2009, 03:12

tak197 wrote:Also, from what I've seen, 98% of relationships started in high school DON'T WORK OUT. Wait until college, and you have a better shot at finding a suitable facsimile to "true love".

True enough, but most high-school couples don't make it past a year. All most up to 2 and no signs of it breaking, so I'm hoping I'm in one of those incredibly small percentiles of relationships that actually work.

If it doesn't work out though, it doesn't work out. There'll be a good reason for it and we'll just move on.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Master Gunner » 22 Jul 2009, 03:21

As any guy here will say, there is so much truth in that its painful.

EDIT: referring to Cake's post here. Don't know how I missed Unlucky's.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Cake » 22 Jul 2009, 03:25

What, MG?
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby 2stepz » 22 Jul 2009, 09:29

Cake wrote:
Nomadic wrote:May I suggest looking for the shy "he's my best guy friend who would do anything for me and is a sweetheart" kind of guys?

That never happens. If a woman has a close male friend, this means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.



I truly despise the gender bias inherent in that oft quoted scenario. Most of the platonic friendships I've had with males through the years, I have ruined... just by asking if they were interested in more. I've stopped trying. I'm tired of losing friends because I'm the one interested in more, and all they want is "just a friend."

At this point, I'm not putting myself out there to be burned again. If you don't have the guts to ask me for what you want, you're not going to get it.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Nomadic » 22 Jul 2009, 09:46

2stepz wrote:I truly despise the gender bias inherent in that oft quoted scenario. Most of the platonic friendships I've had with males through the years, I have ruined... just by asking if they were interested in more. I've stopped trying. I'm tired of losing friends because I'm the one interested in more, and all they want is "just a friend."

At this point, I'm not putting myself out there to be burned again. If you don't have the guts to ask me for what you want, you're not going to get it.


I know what you're saying Cake, I'm just venting. :)


*Hugs 2stepz*...believe me when I say I know it goes both ways...it just always seems like such a chore for a guy to get a girl to even look at him as anything more than a brutish idiot (even though that is most definitely not how a small percentage of males, including myself, carry ourselves).
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Bananafish » 22 Jul 2009, 10:09

Dude must be getting high fives all over the place.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 22 Jul 2009, 14:12

Nomadic wrote:...it just always seems like such a chore for a guy to get a girl to even look at him as anything more than a brutish idiot

...I have never had this issue :?

Most of the girls I've ever known have approached me because they've found me kind and friendly.

Which I'll admit kinda made my isolationist period during and following secondary school kinda tricky.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Master Gunner » 22 Jul 2009, 14:56

I'm often viewed as a good listener, and most people of either gender see me as a quiet, but extremely weird, smart guy, who they're willing to talk to. One girl who I almost never talk to once tried to get me to help her with her relationship problems (actually, a lot of people talk to me about their relationship problems, despite my complete lack of experience or knowledge in the area), after I helped her with computer problems once or twice.

The problem is that I'm almost completely incapable of properly expressing any positive emotion (things like anger on the other hand, tend to be easier for me to express, although still not naturally), and can't carry on casual conversation very well. So its extremely hard for me event to convey that I consider someone a good friend, much less that I actually "like" them. So instead I don't, which has yet to work out well for me, but I have no idea how to do anything different.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby The R » 22 Jul 2009, 19:22

tak197 wrote:Brad, the babysitter doesn't count. ;)

Also, from what I've seen, 98% of relationships started in high school DON'T WORK OUT. Wait until college, and you have a better shot at finding a suitable facsimile to "true love".


I know you are trying to give good advice, but I however have a huge problem with the "Wait until college" mantra.

When I was in late Highschool I had quite some difficulty like many others, but I was usually reassured with that kind of advice and bought into it. I actually had a few chances in HS that I pretty much passed up since I didn't try hard enough and kinda assumed that it was not worth the effort and possible drama.

Lets just say, I have regretted that decision ever since, and even moreso the older I get. Which segways into this point:
masamune wrote:girls older or my age are looking for careers or family.

The problem I found in my college time was that I was always having to deal with stuff that was never on my mind back in HS like putting up with asshole roomates, rent, balancing a part-time job & school , money problems, money money money, insomnia, and the bullshit of living in a big city. Even when I finally got a girlfriend the relationship was pretty much ruined by all these things (and also since she was way too emotionally voiltile because of her past boyfriends).

The other thing is that many girls I know are already engaged and whatnot and even hearing one mention how "back then I used to get all exited and giddy when a guy liked me, now im like ' whatever' ", I mean you wait too long and less people are available and the general people get more jaded.

Yes, HS relationships are full of drama and wont last, but its better than having nothing then. Personally I would be a lot happier with those memories (even if it was short-lived) if I actually went with those girls (who are now long gone [taken) In fact, some of my friends who were in these so-called stupid HS relationships were pretty damn happy to say the least and had more time with eachother since they werent tying to balance work, Uni, and other BS.

I know saying all this probably will annoy or offend, but my experience has been far different than the advice I was told about... basically college/uni stuff isn't all rainbows and sunshine like what so many promised me which is why I was so let down when things didn't work out (or more importantly leaving out key details & disadvantages). Also even more contrary to the advice I haven't truthfully fallen in love since I was 17 which was 7 bloody years ago. Ugh, I need a beer.. oh wait I developed a allergy to hops within the last 2 years.. FUCK
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby luinie » 23 Jul 2009, 00:20

Master Gunner, I seem to have somewhat similar problem. People know very well I don't have or haven't had any serious relationships (or relationships at all), but somehow I end up hearing many times a week how my friends and semi-strangers pour all their relationship problems to me. My theory is that they tell me everything, because (due my minimal social life) I have nobody to tell their secrets and they find me reliable 'cause of that. Most of the times I feel honored to listen, but sometimes it's just weird.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby RowanAmeth » 23 Jul 2009, 21:03

Interestingly, all of my relationships with older people have been terrible. One cheated on me twice, another turned out to be a psycho, and the latest one just didn't work out. My best relationship was with someone a year and a half younger than me. He was a sweetheart, and while the relationship ended far too soon (he lived halfway across the country and had to go back home), it was still the most comfortable and loving relationship I've ever had.

I dunno, I guess I'm just weird.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 24 Jul 2009, 00:57

My first, only, and best girlfriend was a friend I've known for almost half a decade, and with whom I'm still great friends.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Brad » 24 Jul 2009, 07:30

Dear The R:
College dating is simple.

Step one: See a girl you are attracted to.
Step two: Introduce yourself to the aforementioned girl.
Step three: Ask her to the pub for lunch.

Step two seems difficult, I know, but in college there are all kinds of ways of getting past the 'how' stage of this. If she's in your seminar, well, you'll have to introduce yourself at some point anyway. If it's a bunch of people hanging out on couches and she's one of them, it is even simpler. You just plop down and introduce yourself to everyone. Pull out a pack of cards and deal. Do something.

See, in high school, girls have that whole 'clique' thing to deal with, even the ones who would normally be above such things. In university, the ones who tended to run those cliques aren't there and girls tend to be a lot more comfortable with themselves and others.

Honestly, once you're out of college, I got no ideas for you. But if things aren't working where you are for it, you have to try something else. Join a club, maybe not even a college club, go to the gym, take on a martial art. Nothing breaks the ice with a girl like ground grappling.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 24 Jul 2009, 07:32

I'm short (Which with my facial musculature could be conveyed to "cute" or "adorable"), halfway handsome, witty, and intelligent.

Theoretically I have a lot going for me...

And yet I can guarantee it's step 2 that will confound me for years to come.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Brad » 24 Jul 2009, 07:35

Lyinginbedmon wrote:I'm short (Which with my facial musculature could be conveyed to "cute" or "adorable"), halfway handsome, witty, and intelligent.

Theoretically I have a lot going for me...

And yet I can guarantee it's step 2 that will confound me for years to come.


So just do it. Most people don't have the balls to throw themselves in socially - I've found it tends to make a good impression on people when you do.

The trick is not to have a plan of how the conversation will go past, "Hi, I'm _______."
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Tim » 24 Jul 2009, 08:02

Pffff. Relationship are for people who like interacting with other people.

Lame.


O_O Can I has friends plx?




For me, the "1) See someone you are attracted to; 2) Introduce yourself" thing has an extra wrench thrown in it. I'm a Christian, and part of that, for me, means that I'm not interested in a romantic relationship with people who don't share my beliefs. So I can't really just go up to anyone on the street and ask them on a date; odds are they'll have "failed" the most important requirement, and I've put myself in an awkward position.

So what that amounts to, for me, is getting involved with various on-campus Christian groups or clubs, or meeting people through church. Limits the opportunities a little.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby 2stepz » 24 Jul 2009, 08:16

Tim wrote:For me, the "1) See someone you are attracted to; 2) Introduce yourself" thing has an extra wrench thrown in it. I'm a Christian, and part of that, for me, means that I'm not interested in a romantic relationship with people who don't share my beliefs. So I can't really just go up to anyone on the street and ask them on a date; odds are they'll have "failed" the most important requirement, and I've put myself in an awkward position.

So what that amounts to, for me, is getting involved with various on-campus Christian groups or clubs, or meeting people through church. Limits the opportunities a little.



Actually, I'd say that gives you a better leg up on some of us, Tim. There are times when I wish I was religious, just so I could meet people of good moral standing without having to dig through the weeds, or spend weeks of my life finding out that this guy I met is really not at all what he appeared to be. Atleast with the religious foundation, and meeting folks through church/church groups, you have a solid basis for initial discussions and things that you KNOW you have in common. The minimum qualifications are almost guaranteed to be met in that arena, and they are, for the most part, better quality people.

(For those who might be offended by that statement, keep in mind that I myself am not religious and am not included in that group. I'm not saying you're not quality... just that the percentage of what I would deem "quality" folk is higher in that atmosphere.)
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby Smidge » 24 Jul 2009, 08:39

There is scum among religious people just as much as non religious people. Personally I don't care if a girl I date would be christian, budist, atheist or whatever, AS LONG as she has good moral values and is a good person. I have met people who thought they were superioir just because they believed in a certain religion which is something I dislike ( as I assume most people do ). Same counts for the opposite.

However I understand Tim's words on that a relationship with mixed religions, would probably have only a slim chance of working. ( which is in my mind is a shame as it would promote peace on Earth if everyone mixed )

just my 2 cents.

EDIT
just for the record, I am non religous.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby The R » 24 Jul 2009, 12:19

College dating is simple.

Oh I wasn't debating the difficulty of college dating, the point I was trying to get across is that if you have an opportunity in HS, don't turn it down just for the sake of "wait for college". In fact, even though so many said how they didn't work out, ect ect, its still experience which really helps your confidence, which in turn can make your college dating run more smoothy when you get there.

Honestly, once you're out of college, I got no ideas for you

As for right now, i'm not currently in college. Its just my situation is screwy since I didn't really finish what I was doing there (Had to bail when everything went to hell & move back to VIC) and there isn't an equivalent here (id have to move to VAN). So I have to pretty much start over with something different, and will be going onto an electronics access program this fall.

Its just ill be so much older than everyone and still paying off the loan from the last program grrrrrr.
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby the amativeness » 24 Jul 2009, 12:54

Tim wrote:O_O Can I has friends plx?


I'll be your friend :D
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Re: Overheard conversation

Postby tak197 » 24 Jul 2009, 13:17

Brad wrote:Of course not. You're a twerp when you're in high school. It's one of the pit stops on the road between you being born and the you you become. Everyone stops there. It's the only gas station for miles.


So it's like Chetwynd in that sense?

Also, I was not a twerp in high school. I was a full-blown choir nerd with awkward tendancies and a target for flirting on my back. Granted it was guys flirting with me, and these guys were kinda jerks.

Let's just say that one of the big issues I will be going to the therapist for in the future is a generalized mistrust for all my male peers. And an irrational fear of driving.
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