Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

[Digital Dolphin]

http://thefilmstage.com/2010/06/08/uwe-boll-jessica-simpson-and-metroid-a-recipe-for-disaster/

What do you get when you mix Jessica Simpson with Uwe Boll and the Metroid video game series? It sure sounds like a disaster to me. JoBlo is reporting that Uwe Boll is going to direct a film based on the Metroid video game series. Yea, I know what you’re thinking, it gets worse though. Set to star as our heroine Samus is none other than Jessica Simpson.
This is worse than the Kim Kardashian as Tomb Raider story we reported earlier. Seriously, what is wrong with Hollywood? Not only have they run completely dry of original ideas, that’s a whole different story, but if this is true….honestly what is there to say?
Video game to film adaptions usually turn out bad even when they have a good cast and director. Imagine a video game to film adaption with Uwe Boll and Jessica Simpson *shudders*. I hope this is not true. I’d hate to see them ruin a great franchise like Metroid with this film.
Is there any good to come from a project like this?

Yeah...

EDIT: Confirmed to be fake:
http://movies.ign.com/articles/109/1095682p1.html

THANK GOD!!!!

[Lyinginbedmon]

Why did you have to post this? Now Matt is going to Blowout the forums from sheer rage.

[Dr.Ninja]

Oooh crap. This won't be good.

[King Kool]

I smell a hoax.

[Master Gunner]

It won't happen.

[GreigKM]

Now, for the reaction;
FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
Better not happen, or people will regret it. Not from me, but from Matt...

[Jillers]

I... I...


I quit.

[Digital Dolphin]

I smell a hoax.

I hope you're right!

Edit: Thank god you ARE right:
http://movies.ign.com/articles/109/1095682p1.html

[King Kool]

Knew it.

[Lyinginbedmon]

Hurrah! Matt won't kill us all in his rampage!

[Cade Antilles]

That thing smelled like a hoax the minute I opened that link. Good thing it really is fake.

Although, if Metroid were to be made into a live-action movie (a downright bad idea, but hear me out), who would you cast as Samus. Or who would you have direct, produce, score, etc? I don't have any ideas at the moment, but I'm curious what y'all can come up with.

[GreigKM]

Thank God, that is all.

[operagirl95]

Although, if Metroid were to be made into a live-action movie (a downright bad idea, but hear me out), who would you cast as Samus. Or who would you have direct, produce, score, etc? I don't have any ideas at the moment, but I'm curious what y'all can come up with.

That is an interesting question. I'm not sure what the "better" answers are, but in reality probably going to be Uwe Boll and some blonde chick.

[Jillers]

Hrmm... As far as Samus goes, I'd want a gal who is athletic... perhaps, dare I say, a bit butch.

[MattAn]

Hrmm... As far as Samus goes, I'd want a gal who is athletic... perhaps, dare I say, a bit butch.

I personally would've thought Scarlett Johansson or someone like that, no? But Jessica Simpson.. That would be a big leap backward. Does she even know what a SPACE JUMP is..?

[Vigafre]

WHY ARE YOU ACTING WHEN YOU HAVE SPACE JUMP?!

[Agloriouscuppa]

WHY ARE YOU ACTING WHEN YOU HAVE SPACE JUMP?!

This made me spit out my tea from laughter, you sir win.

[Master Gunner]

I think Blonde Tally could pull it off, but doesn't quite have the right stature for the role. Not that that's really a problem these days.

[Jillers]

Hrmm... As far as Samus goes, I'd want a gal who is athletic... perhaps, dare I say, a bit butch.

I personally would've thought Scarlett Johansson or someone like that, no? But Jessica Simpson.. That would be a big leap backward. Does she even know what a SPACE JUMP is..?

No. I hate Scarlett Johansson.
On that note: would Scarlett Johansson know what a Space Jump is?
But, you get my point. Someone who isn't a bobble-head. Who looks like they were, in fact, trained as a warrior.

EDIT: Like Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby.

[ThrashJazzAssassin]

Coincidentally, I just got Space Jump.

[Bob The Magic Camel]

While this is a hoax, the truth isn't much better. John Woo bought the option to Metroid a few years ago, and I don't believe it's expired yet. So while he may not be as hated as Mr. Boll, and while the project may have died in preproduction, there is still a distinctly non-zero probability that we will see a truly terrible film starring Miss S. Aran.