TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Discuss our latest podcast about Magic: The Gathering.
BearHawkWriter
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby BearHawkWriter » 28 Mar 2014, 17:05

I'm posting from my phone, but I'll have a proper card frame for this when I get home:



Excellus, Anarchist Gridmaster

2 (2/W)(2/U)(2/B)(2/R)

Legendary Artifact Creature - Nightmare Wizard

First Strike, Vigilance, Deathtouch, Shroud

WUBR: Shuffle together all permanents in play and separate them into X face-down piles, where X is the number of players plus one. Randomly assign one pile to each player, and turn all assigned cards face up. All cards in the remaining pile are exiled. You may pay half your life, rounded up, to exclude Excellus, Anarchist Gridmaster from the effects of this ability. Piles can contain zero cards.

2BB, sacrifice a permanent that you do not own: Gain X life, where X is the number of permanents you control but do not own times eight.

5/10



I imagine the story behind this card may only make sense to those who have ever decided to share an Excel spreadsheet in Google Docs, but I feel like this encapsulates how certain Docs (and to a greater extent, Office) errors can feel. The evergreen abilities are to make it more relevant in combat, the "5/10" was something of a joke as to what the possible Metacritic Score would be for a game that contained such a boss character.

Now, you may be thinking: "Why bother with only four colors? Why not go full Reaper King with this bizznitch?" The first answer is that I'm not sure any text in this theoretical wall of text is in Green's color pie. Secondly, I thought it would be funny to exclude Green from the card to be contrary about Excel's green icon.

Let me know what you think! I'll edit in the card frame when I get home to a real computer.
O.P. Shaman
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby O.P. Shaman » 28 Mar 2014, 17:10

I basically did what i always do with cards... MAKE THEM O.P.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope you like it.

Commander Spreadsheet
CMC: 4 colorless
Legendary Artifact Creature- Program Construct
Rarity: Mythic
When Commander Spreadsheet enters the battlefield, roll 4 d20s. Add those numbers, find the average, then find the square root of the average. Commander spreadsheet's power and toughness are equal to the final answer.
{t}: Roll 4 d20s, put that many 1/1 colorless program tokens onto the battlefield
P&T: X/X
BarcodeReader
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby BarcodeReader » 28 Mar 2014, 18:58

Microsoft Excel, Final Boss - (7)

(ART)

Legendary Artifact Creature - Boss Software - 0/7

Indestructible
(X)(Tap): Target creatures power or toughness become equal to X.
(X) (Tap): Change X words on target spell or permanent to an equal amount of any other words. (dickbutt counts as one word.)
(1): Target player sorts the cards in his or her hand alphabetically
(1): Target player puts their lands above their creatures or their creatures above their lands
(1): Target player places their library on an adjacent corner of the field.
(X)(Y): Target player places a number of permanents they control into an X by Y grid equal to X multiplied by Y, in any order. Flip a coin. If it is heads, choose a row at random and exile it. If it is tails, choose a column at random and exile it.
If a player has exiled cards exactly equal to Microsoft Excel's toughness, that player disrobes.
If you have activated Microsoft Excel's abilities more than 20 times, exile all other permanents you control.
If a card a player controls would cause Microsoft Excel to be exiled or be placed in a graveyard from anywhere, that player wins the game, instead.
"I always knew Beej wasn't playing with a full deck."
"Maybe so, but YOU try beating Excel with your shirt on."
Last edited by BarcodeReader on 30 Mar 2014, 11:37, edited 3 times in total.
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Dohyden
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Ecel! the final boss!

Postby Dohyden » 28 Mar 2014, 19:01

so i thought i'd try and make a card that didn't break the 4th wall but conveyed a boss battle with a dangerous computer program in the form of an Artifact creature.

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so lets break down the card for a second. on every upkeep of the controlling player the boss will do 3 things unless you have the will and determination to stop it. the first move is pretty simple, pay 1 mana to stop the boss getting bigger. the second is a little more tricky for excel will punish your board position by forcing PowerPoint Presentations upon you and finally Excel will shift the battle field to it's favour the longer it is aloud to live unless your armies can make the necessary sacrifices.

After writing these abilities i thought Excel would be good with Trample, for you should be punished more for not paying the 1 mana each turn to stop it getting huge.

Now it's a long tradition of games to have to fight the same boss twice and well, that's what the persist is for. also if you fail to pay 1 mana every turn Excel will persist indefinitely.

(: hold onto your doom blades and shatters for this little beasty.
Last edited by Dohyden on 28 Mar 2014, 19:23, edited 1 time in total.
Achbad the Ape
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby Achbad the Ape » 28 Mar 2014, 19:06

It's a flip card! FLIP CARD!!!

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You have to update your software before it will do anything useful
Qegixar
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby Qegixar » 28 Mar 2014, 20:28

I imagine Excel's bosses would take the form of really convoluted formulas with bad values that you need to fix by cleaning up your data, or something like that. So I wanted to put some formulas in it. Anyone fluent in Excel should know what it does.

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KingOfDoma
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby KingOfDoma » 28 Mar 2014, 21:17

I missed out on the last card creation challenge, and I'm not missing out on this one! BEHOLD! SPREDSHI'IT!

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TREMBLE BEFORE HIS MAJESTY!!!
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Da-Noggin
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby Da-Noggin » 28 Mar 2014, 21:22

Clippy, Microsoft Paperclip 3BBBB

Legendary Artifact Creature - Golem

When Clippy, Mircosoft Paperclip enters the battlefield; Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You choose a noncreature, nonland card from it. That player discards that card, you loose life equal to the converted mana cost of that card.

WW: Exile 'Clippy, Microsoft Paperclip' from the battlefield, return it to the battlefield under your control.

3/3

"Make a Pivot Table!" - Alex Steacy
MidWest_Jake
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby MidWest_Jake » 28 Mar 2014, 22:48

my version of MSE won't let me make the typeline enchatment artifact, hense the last ability.

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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby CryssCross » 29 Mar 2014, 00:04

As a professional Stage Manager (in addition to being a drag performer) my love for this week's card creation being based around Excel is near and dear to my heart.

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It's only going to be more awesome than an army of Hamsters riding bareback on Unicorns while playing the bagpipes on their way to Candy Mountain.
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Alex_Kon
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby Alex_Kon » 29 Mar 2014, 05:11

After thinking about it, I knew I had to go for a God card.

Excelsior, He Who Counts
2 W/U W/U
Legendary Artifact Creature: God
Indestructible, flying
As long as your devotion to +1/+1 counters is less than five, Excelsior isn’t a creature (Each +1/+1 counter on permanents you control counts toward your devotion to +1/+1 counters.)
2WU: Destroy target attacking or blocking creature. It can’t be regenerated. Put a token onto the battlefield that’s a copy of this creature.
Deus excel machina.
5/5

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madman_oreo
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby madman_oreo » 29 Mar 2014, 09:20

You guys are missing the most dangerous threat of excel, fixing the template if you change a single thing in it:

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Karasutengu
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby Karasutengu » 29 Mar 2014, 11:02

I see that I wasn't the only one that thought immediately of Clippy.


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KiteNeravar
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby KiteNeravar » 29 Mar 2014, 11:16

Here's my card. I made it with the intent that it would be a boss. Something you face and have to beat, rather than something you play yourself.


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I was trying to find a way to represent excels tendency to alter one cell when you try to format a different one, but the tribute was all I could come up with.

The Inspired mechanic is inspired(heh) by moving a spread sheet into word and having entire rows or columns disappear never to be seen again. (Note: Losing the flip was supposed to result in "Exile Target Creature" but I missed it when I was submitting the card.

EDIT: The site I used cut off part of the tribute text. It should read "distribute seven -1/-1 counters among any number of target creatures you control.

EDIT 2: Fixed
Last edited by KiteNeravar on 29 Mar 2014, 18:19, edited 4 times in total.
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LokiTheLiar
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby LokiTheLiar » 29 Mar 2014, 11:51

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This card explains why Alex and Beej were naked while playing Excel - it was the only way to defeat the final boss.
"There is no shame in defeating an ignorant opponent." Kathleen De Vere

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chedder1
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby chedder1 » 29 Mar 2014, 12:21

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Something to note is the collector number is 87/150, the same collectors number as Plaguemaw Beast, the only green card with proliferate.
Last edited by chedder1 on 29 Mar 2014, 12:36, edited 2 times in total.
MidWest_Jake
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby MidWest_Jake » 29 Mar 2014, 12:33

KiteNeravar wrote:Here's my card.


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The Inspired mechanic is inspired(heh) by moving a spread sheet into word and having entire rows or columns disappear never to be seen again. (Note: Losing the flip was supposed to result in "Exile Target Creature" but I missed it when I was submitting the card.

may want to adjust your templating, your opponent would likely just not pay tribute and put the -1/-1 counters on your creatures
arkt
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby arkt » 29 Mar 2014, 12:50

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Last edited by arkt on 29 Mar 2014, 18:04, edited 3 times in total.
Selemas
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby Selemas » 29 Mar 2014, 12:59

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It took a while for the card to get this reasonable. It would be legendary, but space.
bertoelcon
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby bertoelcon » 29 Mar 2014, 13:09

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I figured I'd go with one of the Excel easter eggs, rather than Excel itself.
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KiteNeravar
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby KiteNeravar » 29 Mar 2014, 13:42

MidWest_Jake wrote:
KiteNeravar wrote:Here's my card.


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The Inspired mechanic is inspired(heh) by moving a spread sheet into word and having entire rows or columns disappear never to be seen again. (Note: Losing the flip was supposed to result in "Exile Target Creature" but I missed it when I was submitting the card.

may want to adjust your templating, your opponent would likely just not pay tribute and put the -1/-1 counters on your creatures
Thanks for pointing it out, the site cut the rest of the text off.
bukannan
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby bukannan » 29 Mar 2014, 18:24

Here's my card :D

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WP&P
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby WP&P » 29 Mar 2014, 19:12

Okay, so you got me to register for the forum, all so I can contribute my entry to this awesome contest. Lots of good ideas already posted; I'm glad I didn't see any of them before I came up with mine. It seems like there are some common features emerging: Atifact Creature - Construct for instance, screen caps as card art, and all the Clippies.

I concentrated on making my Boss hard to kill. I also gave it an ability that could be really powerful... if you can figure out how to use it! I wanted to keep stats within a reasonable range, though, so that it could actually show up in a game and interact meaningfully.

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What do model railroading and Magic: The Gathering have in common?
I don't have enough time or money for either!

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the53card
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby the53card » 29 Mar 2014, 19:25

Excelius, the Reckoning 3WW

Legendary Artifact Creature - Construct

Flying, vigilance, Double strike, Trample, Indestructible.

As long as any opponent has no cloths on Excelius, the Reckoning gets -9/-9

Add four columns and highlight

10/10


Plus:

DickButt 2BB

Tribal Instant - Cheat Code

Exile target artifact creature.

It's the password for literally everything!
Werdnae
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Re: TTC - Thoughts on BTT Draft

Postby Werdnae » 29 Mar 2014, 20:30

I thought that the final boss of excel should be a cycle of gods that you must face together. Some of the abilities are probably a bit broken or out of flavour, and the mana costs and P/T probably need adjustment.

Mechanistically, I built them with P/T of a spreadsheet being it's Rows/Columns in mind.

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