This week marks the beginning of Rejected ENN’s run on the Escapist Publisher’s Club. In its place, I’ve decided to give you some inside info on this week’s episode, similar to what Matt does for the weekly video posts. To discuss the move, check this forum thread.
This week’s feature story is an idea I’ve had for a while, but had been struggling to iterate. My foray into the Dragon Age pen-and-paper roleplaying game led me to read both Dragon Age novels, and that got me thinking about game literature in general. I’ve picked up quite a few novels as PAX freebies and such, and they’re always useful to have on long ferry or plane rides. Meaning no offense to the game writers who often create them, however, they are typically not that hot.
I already had the idea of using the horrible dialogue in Resident Evil as grounds for a romance novel, but it wasn’t until I pitched the story to Paul that everything really clicked. The “people who like books that aren’t very good” part of the venn diagram was his idea, and really brought it together.
Not including video, Paul and I generated over 70 graphics and sound files for this episode. Notable among these was the narration for Resident Evil: The Spencer Mansion Liaison, which was cut significantly to reduce the length of the episode. I’m including the full version here, for your listening…uh…pleasure (no SFX or music though, I’m afraid):
Resident Evil Romance (long version)
Huge thanks to Dale Friesen for lending his superlative pipes to such an icky task–makes me want to write more things for him to narrate :).
I’m not sure if I can bring myself to listen to it… The short version was a little too weird…
Comment by Shakadamus — June 9, 2010 @ 3:28 pm
You know you are going to asked to read this/write more for desert bus
Comment by pigmy wurm — June 9, 2010 @ 3:42 pm
I wanna listen to it, but I’m scared….Gibble sandwich had me weirded out, which is very very rare
Comment by Richard Nixon — June 9, 2010 @ 3:46 pm
RE fans rejoice! More Dale-narrated romace novels please!
Also, he could do a reading on those RE novelizations that S.D. Perry has written.
Comment by koizom — June 9, 2010 @ 4:28 pm
I heard it over and over again while Jeremy edited it early this week. It caused pretty serious nausea.
Yeah, that’s right: over and over again.
Comment by Tally — June 9, 2010 @ 4:38 pm
Papyrus press. I see what you did there… that’s the font!
Comment by DRog — June 9, 2010 @ 4:39 pm
Poor Tally,
how can he do something like that to you?
Comment by GaspodeTheDog — June 9, 2010 @ 5:15 pm
Question: how many girls would read something like this? I’m pretty sure all guys, gay or straight, listen to this and think “What the fuck?”
Comment by Tim K — June 9, 2010 @ 5:25 pm
Probably more girls than you’d think/hope. Especially on some of the crafting forums I frequent, I am constantly amazed and horrified by how many grown women (often moms, too) are absolutely in love with Twilight and other trashy romance novels.
I think we can all see what this means: the sex lives of middle aged women in North America are clearly at dangerously low levels.
Comment by Tally — June 9, 2010 @ 5:32 pm
Of course even I cannot listen to this with straight face, but that makes it so good, because it is cheesy and hilariously weird.
Still, I like it and want more. Even to say that I’d read a whole book/listen a whole audiobook of this.
Comment by koizom — June 9, 2010 @ 5:43 pm
I noticed this on the original ENN but heard it again here, does he say “Jibble Sandwich” rather than “Jill Sandwich”? Despite it being horrific I did laugh a lot at this.
Tally, thank god there’s women out there who don’t like Twilight… thank god. I read the book out of curiosity and wish that I hadn’t…
Comment by Tramp — June 10, 2010 @ 5:33 am
Should I be embarassed that I actually liked it? It is very funny, extremely well written (like almost too well written), and the narration is wonderful.
I also was wondering about the “jibble sandwich.” I’ve always heard it as “Jill sandwich.”
Comment by EnigmaHarper — June 10, 2010 @ 12:02 pm
unnnnncomfortable.
Comment by Lisra — June 10, 2010 @ 1:47 pm
@Enigma It’s a famous stumbled line. It was supposed to be “Jill” sandwich, but he stutters a bit, and once you hear it, you can’t un-hear it.
Comment by Jeremy — June 10, 2010 @ 1:54 pm
Hot. Dale should do a phone sex line.
Comment by Emperor Gum — June 10, 2010 @ 2:24 pm
@Tramp Let’s start a club. Twilight Hating Women United. We’ll attempt to re-educate all the delusional Edward-adoring moms out there. And tell their husbands to pay some attention to them. Or maybe just pass out free dildos.
Comment by Tally — June 10, 2010 @ 7:57 pm
I’m not sure whether to be amused or disturbed by this story… I seem to be alternating between the two with a rather high frequency.
Comment by Phlip — June 11, 2010 @ 8:13 am
i don’t care what anyone says Dale’s voice is perfect for doing audio books!
Comment by dex-dex — June 14, 2010 @ 9:33 am